The Potty Diaries: In Which You Will See Much Use of the Words "Pee" and "Poop"

The carpets in the family and living rooms need some professional cleaning desperately.
We have three diapers left from Luke's most recent Costco-size box of size fours.
Tommy is days away from needing size fours himself.
Luke will be three in one month and two weeks.
His interest level is mild to moderate. At least he's interested in his books about using the potty, if not the potty itself.
We're goin' for it.

Day One:Since 8:30am Luke has been bottomless. No diaper. No undies. Bare nek'ed.

By 12:00pm I am amazed at his ability to hold it in. He has neither peed nor pooped in either the toilet or on the floor. But he has had had many attempts at sitting on his Blue's Clues potty seat on the toilet. He has even said one time that he needed to go, although nothing came of that.

At 12:30pm I have to put Tommy down for a nap. When I come out, Luke and Josh are happily playing with cars in the living room. I ask Luke if he has to go to use the potty. He says, "I already pooped a little bit." He holds his pointer finger and thumb up to his face, squinting one eye to peek through the one-inch gap between them in the universal sign for 'little bit.' "Where?" I ask, forcing cheery nonchalance. "In the basement. On the floor." "Can you please show me?"

We tromp down the stairs happily discussing where pee and poop go and where they do not go. Phew! He's just peed, and it's on the concrete. Or was. The concrete has absorbed all but a few small drops. Even though the pee is now in the concrete where I can no longer reach it, I clean the spot with sanitizer anyway. While scrubbing, I make a mental note to clarify what constitutes as "poop" and what is considered "pee," perhaps needing to expound on the location from which each of those things emerge. {shudder} I am grateful for the digestive system...but I do not like to get up-close and personal with it.

As the afternoon progresses there is pee in the living room, then the family room, then the master bath by the tub. This is not going well. And what is worse: I have to take the oldest two boys to piano lessons and then go to the grocery store. To undie or not to undie? That is the question. I decide to undie. I've got to keep up the story that the diapers are all gone, after all. Amazingly, we make it through an hour of drop-off, grocery store shopping and pick-successfully! And then, as soon as we get home, he pees in his pants. Drat. I have to wash his Crocs with soap because they are pee filled. Ewwww. I guess it's good he had on shoes that could be washed.

Back to naked.

Adam comes home from work. "Why is Luke wandering around with no pants on?" "It's just easier that way," I say. It really is, no underwear to give a false sense of security.

Adam, Zach and Ben take turns reading books to Luke in the bathroom while I get dinner ready and while we eat. No pee. Not a drip. Not a drop. Dread begins to set in: we have to leave the house again. On go clean, dry undies and pants. Luke makes it through 3/4 of Zach's Scout pack meeting. I'm not counting my chickens, but I am definitely hopeful. And then he pees in his pants again. {sigh} At least Adam is there to change the wet pants this time.

Day one ends with not a single pee in the potty. Not one! Pull-up put on for bed. But I do notice that the accidents are starting to bother him. He's aware of what's going on, even if it is a bit too late.

Day Two:Naked from the waist down once again.

And once again, Luke proves to be the king of the strong bladder. No muscle tone issues in that region of his body! From 9am, when he gets up, until 11:15 he doesn't pee. My constant refrian: "Luke do you need to go potty?" His: "Ummm, nope!" He sits on his cushy potty ring on the big toilet a lot, and I have brought the potty chair from upstairs down to the kitchen, which he also likes to try. I keep hoping something will find it's way into that potty. Yesterday morning he had pooped before he came out of his room for the morning. This morning he hadn't. So poop on the floor is one more thing that might just be part of my day.

To add to the fun, Luke has discovered his testicles. Luke: "What's that?" Me: "Your testicles." Luke: "What does that do?" Me: "Ummm." Josh: "It's where you hold your pee until it comes out." Me: "Yeah! That's what it does!" Luke: "And my poop." Me: "Sure, your poop too."

Around 11:15am I ask him if he needs to use the potty. He makes for the potty chair and then changes his mind. "I want to go on the big toiwet." "OK, it's your choice, bud." He's gone for about three minutes and then comes out. "Me went poop!" I dash into the bathroom and check the little cup on the front of the potty seat. Lo and behold! There is a bit of yellow fluid there!!!! HALLELUJAH! We sing, we dance, we hug, he eats jelly beans.

Apparently for the time being "pee" will be known as "poop."

It's time to set the example. I hate this part, but it does seem to help the process. "Oh, Mommy has to go potty!" I walk toward the bathroom. Luke comes running. With an audience I sit to do my business. This is degrading, but Luke's full of questions that I am sure will help him along his own potty journey.

Later in the day I am changing Tommy's diaper on the changing table in his room. "UH OH!" Luke says with panic in his voice. He is trying to hold the pee in with his hand as it splatters all over his hand, his shirt, the toys scattered in front of him, and the floor (of course, in the one room in the house that up to this point probably needed the carpets cleaned the least). "That's not going to work," I think. I dash him to the bathroom and plop him on the toilet. He's stopped going but I let him flush the toilet anyway. I pick up the scattered damp toys on the floor for the laundry, go get the potty chair from downstairs and bring it upstairs, and grab cleaning supplies for the carpet in Tommy's room.

When I come back up he's sitting on the potty seat. He gets up, "I pooped!" I check. YEP!!! Pee! WAHOO! More cheering and celebrating. We flush it down, waving bye bye to Luke's pee. He wants to do it again. So he does. He pees AGAIN. Into the potty! Cheering, hugs. Flush. I go to get changed out of my exercise clothes into regular ones. Before I can pick a shirt out, he comes running from the bathroom to my closet. "Me pooped!" And yes, he has peed once more! Laughter and clapping. Flush. I go to change again. In seconds he's back, "I pooped!" There are drops there! Oh my gosh! I think he's got it! We play this game again and again. I am hysterical with elation. He's so proud, loving the game. I can't stand there and wait. He makes me go to the closet so he can come running to tell me. I begin to worry that the toilet might break from so much flushing. After the 10th flush he cannot possibly squeeze out a single drop more. WOW!

It's late in the day. Since the peeing/flushing extravaganza, Luke has had two more pees in his little potty chair, followed by cheers, joy, flushing, waving and lollipops. I am thinking tomorrow might be the day to give undies a try. He's got a cute little bum, but I'll be happy to not see it flashing me every two seconds.

But our old friend Mr. Poop has yet to come for a visit. Eeek.

Three-thirty-five arrives. The phone rings and just as I am answering I hear a little whimper. I know that whimper. It's the poop whimper. Oh no. I don't see Luke. Then the whimper again. It's coming from the bathroom. "Um. Can I call you back?" I hang up. I am terrified of what kind of mess I'm going to find when I go in there. But I go anyway. And there is Luke. Sitting on the toilet, looking a little scared and uncomfortable. BUT HE'S ON THE TOILET...POOPING!

Oh.sweet.good.mercy. I talk to him about how it's OK. It's a little uncomfortable to poop on the toilet at first, but everyone does it. I hustle to find Everyone Poops, the book sent from the potty gods that has helped all my little boys become more comfortable with number two. By the end of the process, Luke seems OK with it. And I am feeling giddy. I call Adam to tell him the news, but I don't get the screaming-jumping-up-and-down-wiping-tears-of-joy response on the other end of the line that I am feeling. "Good for him!" That's about it. Oh well. I am still giddy.

The day ends with "potty party" cupcakes...yellow cake with brown frosting per Zach's suggestion. I don't think Luke cares all that much, but I am not one to pass up the chance to make/eat cupcakes. Plus, we are trying to encourage Luke to "eat messy" as suggested by his food therapist, i.e. get him to eat without being bothered by getting dirtied by the food. Cupcakes are great for this.

Luke has one accident in his seat while eating the last couple of bites of his cupcake. But I could care less about that one. I am feeling good. Today was a success. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm not expecting a repeat, but oh! How great that would be?!Day Three:

Luke wakes up grumpy. This does not surprise me. He's been missing naps the past couple of days so I don't have to put a pull-up on him while he sleeps because I am afraid he will hold his poop until he has his pull-up on and then I won't be able to encourage him to poop in the potty. It takes a bit of time, but I finally convince him to get out of his pull-up. I've decided that today is the day to give underwear a try.

The morning goes well, no accidents, but after two days of home-bound potty-training, I am eager to go to playgroup, even if it's just for a short time. But Luke won't go pee so we can leave the house. The time for playgroup to start passes, but still no pee. I wait and wait. Finally, forty-five minutes after our playgroup's start time Luke pees. As soon as the last drop falls we are out the door.

I am hoping the promise that he can pee in a bush if he needs to go will entice him enough to tell me if he does have to go. Colorado Springs parks are thin on bathrooms for some odd reason and the park we are going to today does not have one. In my experience, boys love any opportunity to pee outdoors, so it's just fine with me, although perhaps not fine with the other park patrons. The fifty minutes we are at playgroup he tells me twice he has to go...we tromp out to the nearest scrubby tree, pull down the pants, expose his tiny bum to the cool wind, only to have him decide that in fact, he does not have to pee at all. But that's OK, because we make it through the entire trip with no accidents.

The day actually goes pretty well. He has only one accident, just before we leave for dinner, but makes it through our dinner out at Pizza Time for the school fundraiser with no peeing and gives us a nice big pee right before bed thanks to the endless supply of soda machine pink lemonade at the restaurant.

Luke's figured out how to make farts. "I can make a fart, Dad! Listen!" This is a good first step, but there still has been no pooping at all today. Hmmmm....

Day Four:

Luke doesn't wake up poopy, so that makes me happy. The morning goes smoothly. He's getting better at holding it, then peeing a lot at once instead of many little pees. He does a nice biggie soon after waking up. I think the pee is going pretty well. I decide to let him hang out in his jammies that he can pull up and down by himself for a good part of the day.

I get stressed out because we need to leave for the preschool carpool at 11:20am and Luke has not peed in an hour-and-a-half. I am asking him every two minutes, "Do you need to go now, sweetie?" "How about now?" "Now?" As long as I sound cheerful, he's fine with my questioning. If I start to let my exacerbation come through in my voice, he gets upset. So I really have to be careful how I ask. He never pees, but we have to go since we are already a touch late for pick-up. Fortunately the signals are with me and we are only four minutes late to drop Josh and his two friends off for school...and even better, Luke did not pee in his seat.

While Josh is at school I finally get to taking a shower for the day. I bring the little potty up into my bathroom because he likes to hover around the bathroom with me while I shower, driving his cars down the side of the tub. I am nearly done showering when I hear Luke say, "I need to go potty!" He runs to his potty seat and sits down. I turn off the water and grab my towel. It's just a pee, darn, but it's a good big one, and better yet he did it without me asking. We flush it down. While I am getting dressed I realize the lower half of my right leg is still unshaven. Oh well.

He seems to know when he has to pee most of the time now, but he doesn't always go when he tries. I think he starts to feel like he has to go, but it takes a few tries to figure out that specific muscle control and have enough volume to really make it come. So we get a lot of "I need to go potty!" and then nothing. But as long as he's making the choice to go, even if none comes out, it's good. About 3pm we have a half-accident. There is a little damp in the undies, but he stops it and runs to his potty to finish, this is also good.

It's almost 4pm and he still hasn't pooped. I think he has to, but just can't figure out how to hold it and then not hold it. He's watching Caillou streaming on Netflix just sitting on his potty. I'm hoping all the holding won't lead to the plugging. That is just not good.

Oh poop! Literally and explicatively. It's 5:45pm and it happens. In the undies. BOO! I am so bummed. (oh my, the puns keep on coming!) The success from a couple of days ago, while I was trying not to let it get my hopes up, still got my hopes up. But I try to see the bright side: it wasn't a really nasty loosey goosey poop so the undies can be saved. And at least Luke doesn't seem very happy about it. It DEFINITELY bothers him. There are tears.

Day Five:

Here we go again! Will there be a day in my life again when I am not thinking about Luke going to the bathroom all day long? I certainly does not feel like it! Just thinking about the vigilance required to do this makes me feel tired and the morning has barely started.

The first part of the morning is going well again. After his second big potty for the day, I decide I am safe to take a shower. Oh how wrong I was! As I am getting out, Luke comes running. It's a repeat of yesterday afternoon. Ew! Poo! Underwear! He's really sad, so I take it in stride, telling him he will make it next time, and I offer advice on paying attention to the feeling before he poops, using "farts" as my main reference. It strikes me as odd using the word "fart" over and over in a calm, casual discussion.

I don't really know what to do! He knows it's happening, but can't seem to figure out how it feels before it happens. Arrrrgh! Time. That's all it takes. Just time. I hate being patient when it comes to bodily fluids.

By the end of the day I think he seems to have the pee thing down 95%. He gets to the toilet every time. He can hold it really well. He's had a few "almost" accidents, but he catches himself and rushes to the toilet to finish up, so no major clean up is required. We go to a baby shower for a couple of hours and he neither uses the toilet nor pees his pants, but hits the potty as soon as we get home. He is now telling me when he has to go, not just trying when I ask him to.

Day Six:
Today we have church. This is a big test. I am pretty nervous, especially because good ol' number two often hits before noon. Luke pees before we leave for church, that's a good start. During our three hour block Adam and I go into the nursery multiple times to ask him if he needs to go. But the answer is always "No!" said in a voice of complete exasperation like, "Come on Mom and Dad! This is my time, my class, you are not welcome here, go away!" He actually holds it through three hours of classes. And better yet, there is no pooping.

In fact, there is no pooping all day. But there are a number of times he runs to the toilet all on his own to go pee, saying, "I need to go potty!" Just one accident all day, just a trickle before he stops it. I notice that the only times he has had pee accidents over the past couple of days is when he is super absorbed into his play and he just isn't paying attention or can't be bothered with stopping to go to the bathroom. That's a minor hurdle. I think we are there on the pee.

Day Seven:I am dreading today. I know the poop is coming. I must be vigilant. I must not let my guard down. I must watch like a hawk.

But then I have to put Tommy down for a nap. Fortunately, Luke has just peed, so I think it's a good time to do it. Buah-ha-ha-ha!!!! I am such a fool!

I am rocking Tommy to sleep when Luke peeks his head in the door. In a loud stage whisper he says, "MOMMY I WENT POTTY." I say, "Pee pee?" in a less loud whisper. "YES! A LITTLE BIT. IN MY POTTY." Whew! I give him the thumbs up, "Good job Lukey! I'll be out in a minute. Close the door again please."

When I put Tommy in his crib and head out the door I notice the smell. Oh dear. I descend the stairs, "Luke? Where are you buddy?" It's like a horror film. I don't know what I am going to find. I can hear the creepy suspense music playing in my mind.... But no.... It's choirs of angels! I can see it...there, in the little potty cup! Poop! Luke has pooped in the potty! All by himself! I still have to change his undies, since there was no attempt at wiping whatsoever. But really? Who cares?! The eagle has landed.

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I claim day seven as the turning point. We have arrived. Accidents will still plague us, of both the yellow and brown variety, I am sure. There will be more undies to change, and some that will probably just need to be thrown out. But I really think Luke's got the gist. For all intensive purposes Luke is potty trained. Huzzah!

And now I have to keep track of four sizes of boys underwear in the laundry. That's going to be difficult. But it's certainly worth it!!