Our Week: April 21-28

It was a classic CO spring week--snow on Tuesday/Wednesday, 65/75 on Saturday and Sunday!  It was our third snowy Tuesday in-a-row.  Thursday and Friday were days off for placement testing for my elementary school boys.  Our YW Stake Volleyball tourney wrapped up--with a lot of wins for my B-Gate girls--but the best part was watching the girls play and have fun together, even those that acted grumpy about playing really seemed to enjoy themselves. We had a b.u.s.y. Saturday with Ben's school choir singing the National Anthem at the March of Dimes charity event, one away soccer game for Zac and two for Ben, Stake Pinewood Derby race-off for Josh.  With all that we DID do, Zac was disappointed to pass up on his Scout Sand Dunes camp out and Ben had to forgo the district Science Fair.  It's such a crazy time of year! 

 

Jen and Hannah

When we were getting ready to move here, a friend of mine gave me a card that said, "Miles don't matter!"  While it was not Jen who gave it to me, Jen has truly lived that saying!  We have shared so much in the 8 years that I have known her, heartbreaks and triumphs, but I think the thing that solidified our friendship the most was her first visit out here the year after we moved.  Since then she has come every year, living proof indeed that the miles do not matter to our friendship.  I am so grateful for her and the joy she brings to my life!  She is a soul sister to me!

A few months ago I got a text from Jen's husband, saying that with a big birthday coming up for her (the 19th anniversary of her 21st birthday), he wanted to surprise her with something special and he thought the best surprise would be a Colorado visit!  Well, I nearly fell off the back of the treadmill in my excitement to text back that, yes, I did think that would be awesome and that I already could not wait, so no backing out.  YAY!  Thank you, Dave!  We both were concerned with our ability to keep it a surprise...but it wasn't me who let the cat out of the bag!  Soon after the planning, Jen knew, and we were both counting down the days.  Then, a few weeks ago, Jen decided that Hannah might never speak to her again if she wasn't included in the trip, so they bought her a ticket too, but didn't tell her about it until they were on their way to the airport to come.  Ben asked every day, "Does she know yet?"  Hannah was thrilled!!

It was a sweet, happy visit.  It always is.  I was telling my sister today that one of the things I love about being with Jen is that we can just both be.  We don't have to have a huge agenda, other than a dinner at PF Changs, which is a must for every visit.  We can just be together, doing the things we do: laughing over a funny facebook status, sitting together reading books, watching a show, driving the kids' activity drop-off/pick-up route, getting pedis, going for a run, seeing a movie in the theater--or two, running errands, making caramels...whatever, and we fill it all with non-stop talk or quiet togetherness.  It's perfect.  And of course, the boys love Hannah.  She fits in our family, no problem.  If they could pick a sister, it would be Hannah!  Which works, since she and Ben really look like they could be twins.

Pinewood Derby 2013

Saturday was one of the highlights of the Scouting year for my little Cub Scouts.  Pinewood Derby Day!  Ben's last and Josh's first.  {sigh}  I feel like I was just blogging about Ben's first and Zac's last!  The years do fly by, don't they? 

Ben and Josh had a great couple of weeks putting their cars together.  From design to assembly, Adam tries to help only when asked and only with things the boys can't do for themselves, like scroll sawing.  Ben was so determined to have a super fast car this year and tried all the tricks and tips to get it there: aerodynamics, wheel alignment, graphite, etc.  Josh started out going for cool design, until he saw the smooth sanded finish of Ben's...and then he re-cut his.  We don't own a scroll saw, a fact that makes Adam glum every year about this time, but thankfully, we got a little help from Chad Murdock's tool cache, an added bonus for Adam and I because it meant we got to hang with the Murdocks too.

Josh and Ben were having so much fun, Luke decided he wanted to make a car too, so Adam took him to buy a kit, and bought himself one while he was at it.  Luke's and Adam's cars wouldn't be raced in the Derby, but they had a good time designing and putting together their cars, and after the Derby they had a chance to send them down the track one time.

The Pinewood Derby never fails to disappoint.  What a fun activity!  The boys all get so excited watching their cars run and I am always impressed at the goodwill and great sportsmanship that is displayed.  Josh ended up placing 2nd in the overall races!  He was so excited and we were really happy for him.  He gets to race in the Stake Finals next weekend.  Ben ultimately came in with a tie for 7th, but won the award for Best Trick Car because he had put so much weight in the back of the car that it popped wheelies.  He was a little disappointed that he didn't place in the top three, but had a great attitude about it and was genuinely pleased for Josh.  We did have to chuckle a little at the irony: two years ago, he placed 1st in his first Derby, without even really trying to make a good racer (kind of like Josh's 2nd place finish this year); this year he put in so much effort and then came 7th.  Oh well!  There really is no guarantee when it comes to a block of wood on wheels!  Unless, that is, you are a Cummings and your dad is a Rocket Scientist.  Those Cummings boys always have fast cars!
 
The boys had a ton of fun.  Hannah and Jen, out for their annual visit, were able to share the good times with us, and our neighbor, Gabi, who Ben invited to come watch, came as well!  A great time was had by all!

 

Our Week: April 15-19

This week we celebrated our fifth year in Colorado!  (Which really came at the end of March, but we totally missed it until our real estate agent sent us a card.)  WOW!  Where does the time go?  We thought about all that has happened in five years: so many wonderful moments, so many fantastic friendships made, SO much growing--our oldest blooming from a 1st grader to a sixth, our Colorado baby already three-and-a-half years old...all in a home we love--even with its need for many updates, we adore our house!  And we thought about where our family will be in five more--Zac will be 17!  SEVENTEEN.  We are so blessed by the memories and joys, and even challenges, of the past five years here in our mountain high home.

The two-week Stake YW Volleyball tournament started, which was so much fun, and Tommy developed a little fever, which was sad, but also happy because it required a lot of snuggles.  We also spent the week getting ready for the Pinewood Derby, enduring more spring snow by watching fun movies, finding fun ways to play together indoors, and eating Lunch Lady Brownies...oh dear, oh delicious!  And best of all, getting excited for the long-awaited visit of Jen and Hannah Shevitz, our dear friends, from Seattle! 

Boston

This week the finish line of the Boston Marathon was bombed.  This unfortunately brought us once again to the difficult task of talking to the boys about tragedies that are perpetrated by evil, cruel, selfish human beings.  Contemplating the world we live in, I realize that in the United States we are relatively sheltered from this kind of atrocity, that there are places people live where this could happen any time and happens all the time.  I suppose there is a part of me that knows we are fortunate that this is a discussion we actually get to have every few months, rather than no discussion at all because it's just part of living.  But that knowledge does not make it easier to talk about these things with 12, 10 and 8 year-old-boys who still see the world through the first-world-living rose-colored glasses of youthful innocence. 

Monday afternoon, we found ourselves again sitting on the couches in the living room with Zac, Ben and Josh, our hearts pounding with the news we had to deliver, the third time we've had to talk to the boys about something like this since last summer's shooting in the theater in Aurora.  It hurts so much every time.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  We spend so much of their young lives telling our children that we will keep them safe, that there is no such things as monsters...and then things like this happen and I realize that those things I have diligently taught them are only truth in the effort we promise them, not real truth.

We have a formula for our discussion.  It's horribleawfultragic that we have done this so much that we have to have a formula for our discussion.

We sit them down and start with the facts of what happened.  In essence, as we talk about bombings or shootings, death and heartbreak we are telling them that there are indeed monsters.  And there are things we cannot keep them safe from.  This is the reality of life, that they would have discovered sooner or later, as we all do as we grow older.  We were just hoping for later.  Luke and Tommy are still young enough that they are spared these conversations.  However, knowing the older boys will more than likely hear stories, embellished or half-told, from their peers at school, we want them to know what really happened and open the door to discussion and the sharing of feelings, so we give them the facts as gently as possible and then let them talk and ask questions.

When that part is over, and their young eyes are full of confusion mingled with fear, we discuss the events in light of our faith.  We talk to them about how bad things can still happen even when we have a good Heavenly Father.  We discuss how people can use their freedom of agency to commit acts of cruelty and atrocity.  We tell them that as much as God loves us, He will not force us or others to do what is right.  We talk about how freedom of choice was a gift to us, but some can use that gift towards evil ends that harm others.  The blessing is that we can still find peace in His spirit as we turn to Him with our fears, pain and worries.

To finish up, we always make sure to shed light on the dark parts of humanity.  We tell them the stories of the heroes.  Thank God there are always stories of heroes.  People who braved the unknown danger of the scene to help.  Neighbors who stepped in to offer aid and assistance.  First responders who put aside their own safety to jump into danger.  Every day, average folks who shook off their own fear and confusion and ran in the direction of the terror because they knew they were needed.

It's amazing how this helps.  It's not just the boys that receive comfort from seeing the abundant goodness that comes in reaction to the worst darkness of humanity.  I do too.  I am so grateful we always have these stories to end the discussion with.  By the time we are wrapping up our chat, the boys seem more at ease, more confident that the world we live in, although filled with unknowns and evil, has vastly more light than darkness.  MORE light than darkness.

I liked what facebooker and comedian Patton Oswalt said about this, "This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.  But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak....So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'"

I just finished the book Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, who lived as a prisoner for years in Nazi concentration camps during WWII; a living witness to the deepest darkness found in human nature. Yet after release he chose to forgive, to let go, to hope for better among his fellow humans, and because of that hope he SAW the better too.  At the end of the book he says, "The world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best."  In these tragedies, I am grateful I can witness so many people doing their best, and can point out "the best" to my boys as an optimistic sign of hope and peace for a world we love. 

Velcro Boy

"Stuck like glue."  "Velcro."  These are the things I think of when I think of Tommy these days.  It's been coming on for a couple of months.  He freaks out when I have to leave the house.  We are talking FREAK-OUT.  We sing, "Grown-ups Come Back" from Daniel Tiger; we sing "My Mommy Comes Back," from Hap Palmer.  And I do always come back.  Songs promising my return and proof of that promise upon my return don't seem to help.  It's very hard...on both of us!  On Adam too, who feels like he can't help.  It breaks my heart a little bit every time I have to go, hearing him cry for me. 

Tommy will only let me help him with anything.  No brothers, no Dad.  When we are out he doesn't want to play at the park or with his friends at their house, even if I am there, watching, staying, he has to be right by me.  He says, "I want to go home, Mommy."  He seems uncertain and uncomfortable.  Even if it means ' doing something boring instead of fun,' he'd rather be with me than without.  He will still smile and talk to strangers, as he clings to my leg, so I know he's not feeling too shy. 

I'm not sure what it is.  I'm thinking of having his hearing re-checked.  I wonder if his tubes are displaced and he's having a hard time hearing just right and it's unsettling him.  Or maybe it's just a stage, I can't remember if the other boys had a clingy phase at three.  Perhaps it's a little residual anxiety over my trips to WA and CA and then our vacation; being in new places, away from his safe and known places for so long.  And I'm off to UT in a couple of weeks again for Women's Conference.

I don't mind the snuggles and the extra love, giving and getting.  I don't mind holding him a lot and sticking close as often as I can.  I don't mind being his helper whenever I can.  I don't mind him hanging with me.

I am simply worried about what is causing him so much anxiety. 

Our Week: April 17-22

This week: Adri and I took our littles up to Manitou Springs to visit the seed library housed in their public library.  We had obviously come a little late in the season, as there weren't a huge number of options left, but we picked a few from the "easy" category of harvesting seeds (you have to return some seeds from the plants that grew from your borrowed seeds!), and are excited to give them a try.  Ben's choir sang the National Anthem at the Sky Sox game just as a big windy, blizzardy snowstorm was blowing in.  It got cold quickly, and the dust was blowing everywhere, so we only stayed through the 4th inning.  School was cancelled due to the blizzard, which didn't bring as much snow as wind, so for me it wasn't all that blizzardy.  However, I did learn that snow totals don't effect whether a storm is called a blizzard or not.  If there is any snow to blow around enough to make for white-out conditions, even if it's just an inch of dry snow that can blow around enough to limit visibility, it counts as a "blizzard"...at least by the weather service.  Tillamook Mudslide FINALLY came to Colorado Springs!  We've had Tillamook cheese for awhile, but their ice cream is so dreamy!  Our youth held a goods and services auction to raise funds for camp this summer.  I made caramels to auction off that looked so pretty!  It was a fun night and I love that the youth get to play a part in paying for their camp experience!

Learning to Swim

This spring Josh decided he wanted to give swim lessons a try instead of playing soccer.  I thought it might be a good opportunity to get Luke and Tommy swimming too.  After our swim adventures in Rancho Mirage, I was sure they were ready for it, and with Tommy's certainty that he "can already swim," if nothing else, it was necessary!

Luke and Tommy braved the "blizzard" on Tuesday to attend their first lesson at our local YMCA.  It was so cute to see them together in class.  They had a blast!  Luke was a perfect student, happy and eager to learn, as was Tommy, who only had to be sat on the wall once for letting go of the side in an effort to prove to his teacher and I that he could already swim (which, if we are talking propelling himself across the water, he can do...until he has to come up for breath and needs to tread water, that he does NOT know how to do).  We left at the end of the lesson with the boys begging to stay afterward.  Unfortunately, since we aren't currently Y members, we had to pack up and head home right after lessons, not feeling nearly waterlogged enough for my little water babies. 

Josh began his lessons on Friday.  The two little boys are in the Starfish class (cling to the wall!) but Josh is in the Flying Fish class, learning proper strokes and technique.  When I signed him up I didn't know which level would be appropriate and apparently completely missed the mark.  Shortly after starting his lesson on Friday, he was moved up to a higher level class, a few minutes into that one he was moved up again.  The last one did seem to be the right fit, and he loved going home to tell his brothers he was too good for two classes!  He had such a great time, has a lot to learn, but is already swimming with more style!