A Little Story To Take Your Mind Off The Snow

I'm not going to post about the tulip-cicles in my backyard.
I'm not going to post about the almost six inches of snow piled up on our just-starting-to-turn-green grass.
I'm not going to post about the blossoms that had just started to pop on our plum tree that are now encased in damp, heavy snow.
I'm not going to post about the boys who are hanging out on the couch in their jammies at 8:30am because school was canceled.
I'm not going to post about the golf ball sized snowflakes that are STILL falling.
I'm not going to post about my utter confusion when Adam woke me up this morning to tell me the kids didn't have school.
I'm not going to post about Luke's pointed question when he came out of his room this morning, "Why is it snowing?"
I'm not going to post about how annoying it is that you can't be confident that there will be no more snow in Colorado for the season until mid-May.
I'm not going to talk about the weather man who did not give us any kind of heads up for this snow storm.
I'm just going to ignore all that, because I am going to pretend today's weather didn't really happen.
Spring will be back tomorrow, I am sure of it.
Instead I will tell you a little story to make your stomach churn. I will call it "Poop and the Red Flash."

Ever since I posted the potty post we have had incredible success. Three days of dry underpants. Three days of pooping voluntarily and without encouragement on the potty. So nice! Until yesterday morning that is....

Yesterday morning I was getting ready for the day in the master bathroom of our house. La la la, brush my hair, la la la, apply some makeup, la la la, what shirt to choose?...and then my brainless dither was interrupted by a true potty emergency. Luke came in with a look on his face that I can only describe as "uber stressed out." "I have to go potty Mooooommmy!" He said my name with this complete tone of despair and discomfort, as if clenching his mouth muscles might help him clinch his bum muscles. I was like lightning, I grabbed him and got his pants down in seconds, the toilet was only seven feet away, "You can do it, Luke, hold it, just for one second more!" But alas, the package was already on its way and ended up being delivered on the floor while I was rocketing towards the toilet. Oh, that's gross.

Remember that game you used to play in elementary school? What's Grosser than Gross? Well, I've got one for you. While depositing Luke on the toilet I saw a red shadow flash in the corner of my eye but didn't pay too much attention to it. I had other things to focus on after all. I said, "Luke, we've got to make it to the toilet next time. This is kind of yucky." Luke said, "Everybody poops, Mom. Elephants poop. Alligators poop." I said, "True. True. But people poop on the potty, those animals don't." He said, "{laughter} OK, Mom."

Luke finished up, I cleaned him up, and then I returned to the scene of the crime with a wad of toilet paper to begin clean-up of the mess on the floor...but all I saw was a small brown smear and our dear Ruby, licking her chops. Uggggg! She ATE it!

Ruby was herded outside that very second and spent a good portion of the morning in the backyard, until the gross-out factor of just looking at her dropped from a high 10 to a low 9. And then she was given three mint-flavored Denta Treats before being allowed to enter the house again. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Dogs and their dogness are sometimes so grody. I told you your stomach would churn. Don't say I didn't warn you!