A Love Letter to Zach

My Dear Zoodle,
Zach, one of the things I love so much right now is watching you change from a little kid to a big kid. There are things you do now that remind me of when I was in second grade! It is so funny to hear you come home talking your second grade lingo, "Dude! Mom! You have to hear this!" Or "He was like, no way! And I was like, yeah, man! It's true!" I adore it! Or hearing your descriptions of the games you play at recess. You get in on the occasional game of soccer, or on a day where you just want to play alone, you take on the toys of the playground. But my favorite? Girls chase boys tag! You always come home covered in dead grass because one girl or another tackled you on the field. I am glad you have friends that are both boys and girls. Even though you sit at the "boys" table at lunch, you've never been a "ew! girl germs!" kind of guy. Which is good, because although you need to have your guys, we girls are pretty darn cool too. But more than just your second-grader mannerisms, I love seeing you take on the challenges of second grade with your typical style. You are so laid back about life, the ins and outs, sometimes I think the only thing that gets you really excited is soccer and video games. But it is really that you just know everything is going to work out OK. You have that "don't sweat the small stuff" attitude at only eight-years-old, an attitude most of us adults are still trying to get down! But with a little help from Dad and I, you also do what you can to make sure the small stuff doesn't become big stuff. Thanks for accepting and listening to our help. A big example of that was the recent challenges at school, it was more of a big deal to us than you, you knew it would be alright in the end. But when you realized we thought it was important, you were ready to get it fixed. We all made a plan, and it is going really well! You are doing your part and we are really proud of you! Really, Zach, to start now, working hard to tackle the problems you will face in life, that is really mature of you. Along those same lines I want to tell you how much I love the way you deal with your tic. It's been four years now since you were diagnosed with your "unspecified" tic disorder. We don't really talk about it much, mostly because it's no big deal. It comes and goes, most people don't even notice it, and because you don't let it bug you or make you feel different, you haven't let it define you. It just is what it is, it's part of you, but you are so much more than a kid with a tic. You have no idea how much I love that about you. You feel confident in who you are...and you should!You have also developed quite the sense of humor over the past months. You love to be silly. To make people laugh. We love that about you! You always give us a chuckle. You definitely need to learn a little more about when it is appropriate to be silly and when you need to chill, but we never want you to lose that sense of humor. Being able to laugh at life, and even laugh at yourself from time to time, will make you so much happier because tough stuff will come, but being able to laugh at it makes it much easier.It has been fun watching you play basketball this season. It has been a couple of years since you played anything but soccer, and it always amazes me how naturally athletics come to you. You play basketball like you have been playing it every season! Along with that, this year soccer was taken up a notch, wasn't it? Neither of us was used to the competitive level of play you faced this year. After a few pep talks, you stepped up to meet it. You are not an aggressive person. You don't dive head first into things, you are cautious, and like to take your time, testing the water a little at a time. But once again, you are working hard to increase your level of play and go after that ball, for a game you love. I love to see you step out of your comfort zone and do what is hard. And you are succeeding!I love seeing you with your friends. It was hardest on you to move, you had a great group of buddies back in Washington. But you have made a place for yourself here. I know I don't get to be at school with you as much as some of the other parents, but when I do get to, it is so fun to watch you in your element. The way you joke and play around with the other guys is great. You have always been a good friend. I can see that you are well-liked by how much I hear, "Hey, Zach!" when I am there. But I also think you are doing a great job just being you, not letting yourself be formed or manipulated by the people around you. When you don't like something you are willing to walk away, or let your opinion be known. I hope you keep that up! I think sometimes Dad and I made the mistake of expecting perfection too often from you as a little boy. You were a pretty perfect kid, it was hard not to expect it! But I know better. One of the big parts of being human is to be imperfect and learn from it. I have been much more relaxed with your brothers. Know that I know you are still a kid, that mistakes will be made, that it is OK to get dirty and make messes (isn't that what our favorite Ms. Frizzle says?!). I trust you to make the best choices you can, because you know right from wrong. And when things don't pan out how you planned, I will be here for you to help you clean up and to comfort you if you need it. I always tell people that I am so glad you are my oldest. You are such a great example for Ben, Josh and Luke. You take care of them, watch out for them, and just be their friend. I am not saying you all don't fight...often...but it isn't mean fighting, it's just disagreeing, and that I can deal with. And you and I, we are good friends as well as mother and son. I love our friendship. I love watching you with your Dad too. You always want to show him how much you know and how good you are at things. Just remember that he has some great things to teach you still!Oh! And I love to hear you speaking French! Your accent is so cool! And how you love Scouts so much, even having only been in for two-and-a-half months, it is adorable! And the songs that are always on your lips, priceless. Sing your way through life, bud! You are a great kid, Zach. If I could freeze time right now, right here, in these precious moments with you, I would. You are so loved, Zachary! Happy Valentines Day!