99% Inspiration, 1% Perspiration

At the beginning of strawberry season, my friend Mo made some delicious looking strawberry freezer jam with her daughter, Hallie. It looked like fun, it looked easy (although Mo is one of those fancy-cooking people who say, "You know me, I wouldn't do it if it were hard; it is so totally easy!" And then whip out professional looking Elmo and Cookie Monster cupcakes, love you Mo!) Anyhow, what can I say? I was inspired. So today after finding some tasty looking strawberries at Costco, Josh, Ben and I (after calling Mo for advice and encouragement) set about making our own batch of strawberry freezer jam. And it was fun and easy, and SOOOOO tasty! Thanks, Mo!

Where Was I? Remembering September Eleventh.

I have felt like I am on the verge of tears all day. While running on the treadmill at the YMCA, I had to swallow the tears that threatened to blink out as I watched the Fox News coverage of the many 9-11 memorials today. It has been seven years, yet the emotions of that day are still so strong. Even those of us who did not lose a loved one that day lost a bit of our innocence, a bit of our fundamental feeling that the world is a safe and orderly place. It is a feeling we, as Americans, don't have to own up to very often, but one that lives everyday in the hearts of people living in unstable societies all over the world. I think of Iraq, Israel, Venezuela, Georgia, and so many other countries where government is unstable and the threat of violence is a daily presence.

We all remember very succinctly where we were when we heard the first of the news. A plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings in New York City. Adam and I were living in Bellevue in a little two-bedroom apartment with our first baby boy. I remember Adam coming into our room where I was sleeping to kiss me goodbye before heading off to work. A 9-month-old Zach was snoring softly beside me (those snores are no longer so soft). Adam said, "There was a big accident and a plane hit one of the sky scrapers in New York, turn the TV on when you wake up." I remember thinking, "That's so horrible!" before I slid back into my early slumber.

About a half-an-hour later, Zach woke me up and we headed into the family room/dining room/kitchen (I said it was a small apartment) to have breakfast. I turned on the TV, as instructed, and my stomach dropped. By that time the second plane had hit the second tower. Everything was so confused and scary. No one could believe what they were seeing. This was no longer assumed an accident, reports were that terrorists had taken over the planes and murdered all these innocent people. There were more planes that were unaccounted for. I don't remember seeing when the Pentagon was hit or when the United flight crashed in Pennsylvania. I do remember watching the towers on fire. I remember being tortured as the reporters began zooming their cameras in to show people jumping from the windows. But I couldn't stop watching. I called Adam and told him I wanted him to come home. He worked in Seattle in the second highest building in the city, and I wanted to know he was safe. I remember watching the towers collapse and feeling completely terrified. When did the world turn upside down? How could no one have seen this coming? Death no longer felt like a distant, obscure thing.

The 9-11 terror attacks were the product of true cruelty, hatred and fear and brought those things into all of our homes and hearts where they did not belong. I had anxiety attacks for the next two months. I couldn't stop listening to NPR or watching CNN. I would wake up in the night shaking and Adam would wrap me in his arms as I pulled Zach close to my body, and be comforted by the warmth of the love that I had for these two most precious of people. I was only comforted by the outpouring of support and comraderie, hope and help that came as a result of the attacks, and I sucked it up like water in the desert. The fear was getting exhausting. After two months of feeling scared all the time, Adam and I decided we would fight against the fear in our lives and embraced life. We would not let the terrorists win by allowing terror to reign our lives. We decided that the most life-affirming, love-expanding thing we could do for ourselves was to have another baby. We were ready and needed the reminder of the purity and peace of a newborn baby, untouched by the cares of the world. Ben is our celebration of life and love, and overcoming fear. No wonder he is our little peace-maker, our gentlest and most thoughtful child. He is our reminder that even in the face of fear and hate, life goes on and love overcomes.

Horsethief Falls Hike

Another beautiful Colorado Saturday could not be passed by without a hike in the mountains. After our three morning soccer games and a nap for Luke, Adam and I buckled in the troops and headed over the hills to a quiet hiking area close to Pikes Peak. It was so beautiful up there, and Adam had to tell me repeatedly that he would not commute 40 minutes to work everyday just so we could live in the mountains. The hike was lovely, peaceful and full of adventure. The kids did great on the three-mile round trip tromp through the wood, and only a few tears were shed on account of the rocks that seemed to jump up from nowhere to cause stumble after stumble. Horsethief Falls is similar to many of the waterfalls we have seen here, where the evidence of powerful waters has smoothed the granite all down the mountainside, yet what we saw was little more than a stream. It was such a nice day, we could hear the breeze in the pines and aspens, the trickle of the stream, and the humming of the bees, a loud humming, a lot of bees. There had to be a huge colony nearby, so Dad, don't make this one without your Epipen! On the way down, Adam and I led the kids in our favorite camp songs, "Goin' on a Bear Hunt" and "The Other Day, I Met a Bear." Although the worry did enter my mind, with all the bees there must be honey, and what do bears like best according to Pooh? No worries, we didn't see any bears, only chipmunks. Do chipmunks like honey?

Heading up

I love that Zach likes to take pictures: Me and my main squeeze.
Daddy dearest: One of the many reasons I love him.Ruby was ECSTATIC about this little pond just below a pretty mountain top meadow, you should see the video!
To the left! Half a mile to go!! We'll save Pancake Rocks for another day. I love the look on Ruby's face in this picture, like "Take the dumb picture, mom, goll!"

Horsethief Falls
Climbing to the top...if there are rocks, we must climb them!
Sorry, Luke, you can't climb up with your brothers, but I will help you reach the water, because splashing is just so FUN!

Thank goodness for cameras that have self-timers; this one may look familiar come Christmas card time! Hmmm...does a skull-and-cross-bones tee say "Happy Holidays?"

Oh my goodness, what a crew! Seriously cute!

My guys

Heading down

Doin' the Dunes and The Best Birthday Ever

Labor Day Weekend found the Conlin gang camping with our great neighbors and friends, the Simonds, at a campsite near Great Sand Dunes National Park in southern Colorado. The Dunes are incredibly cool; the pictures don't do them justice because they just don't look nearly as crazily big, hideously steep or as perilously vast in the pictures as they really are. And they are so odd, piled up in massive mountains at the base of the Sangre de Cristo mountain chain, overlooking a vast farming valley. The kids thought they were so amaing and so fun. Valerie and Dave hung back in the lower dunes with Ruby, Luke, Ryan and Krista, while Adam and I went on up with Zach, Ben, Josiah and Micah. I was so proud of Ben and Zach who hauled up the dunes without complaint or care. I had to run sometimes to keep up with them, then we'd stop and wait for Adam and the other boys to catch up. As for me, while we climbed, I had a few moments of panic. If you know me well, you know I don't like desert-like places/things, eg. Arizona or Kokopelli. I love water and trees and green, and the Dunes were the exact opposite. I kept thinking, "What if I have a heart attack out here? I will die in this brown expanse of freakish sand." But then I would get to the top of another dune, see my amazing kids kicking sand butt and the incredible views before me, and relax again. In the end, the two-steps-forward, one-slide-back climb up the sand was well worth the view from the top, the triumph of making it up, and the crazy fun of going back down!

While there, we celebrated Ben's 6th birthday. And as he said, "It was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!" The day stared with birthday breakfast s'mores, followed closely by the opening of gifts. Next we headed to Zapata Falls, an amazing waterfall that cuts through the hard granite of the mountains spilling into a cave that is only reachable by hiking through the river below the falls. After our hike, we hit the hot springs swimming pool that was back next to our campsite (we actually went to the pool 5 times in 2-and-a-half days). Cool water is pumped in to create a perfect 98 degrees of pure swimming bliss. The boys had no fear jumping off either the high or low diving boards. After our afternoon swim, Adam and David took the kids to the Colorado Gator farm, the home of 400 gators, and many other reptiles. They returned to yummy beef stew, birthday icecream cookie sandwiches (Ben isn't a cake fan-weird, I know, I mean it's cake for goodness sake-go figure), and one more night swim before calling it a day. Or calling it "the best birthday ever," I should say.

We had a great time and enjoyed spending time with our neighbors, Valerie and Dave, and four of their seven kids, Kristalyn (10), Josiah (7-two days older than Zach), Ryan (nearly six) and Micah (5), the other three are in their late teens. We appreciate them and their friendship! And we loved having another AMAZING Colorado adventure! What a great state! Come and visit...we'll show you around!

While the Cat's Away....

Today I found myself surprisingly boy-free for two hours and eighteen minutes. Zach was at school, Ben had been invited to a friend's house for a last-minute play date, Josh was at preschool and Luke was down for a nap. It is amazing how quiet the house gets. And what did I do? Did I vacuum my very Ruby-loved carpets? Did I wash down my pee-covered toilets? Did I pack for our three-day camping trip? Did I get on the computer and check my email or blog? No. I flat-ironed my hair (which I never have time to do), I made myself a delicious lunch of tofu, mushrooms and zucchini sauteed in lemon juice, shallots, soy sauce and garlic, and sat down to read my book and paint my toenails. It was so nice and completely lazy. And even though my black pants are covered in Ruby fur from my un-vacuumed carpets, I feel so chill this evening.

Josh Has His Day

"Joshie, I missed you so much today! How was your first day of preschool?"
"It was the best day ever, Mom. It was pretty much my favorite."

I'm geared up.

I'm strong and brave.

I am dang cute!
And A-O.K!
I'm off!
And yes, Mom cried.

Finger Painting

We had TONS of gigantic pieces of packing paper left over from our move, so I saved a pile to use for some super-sized art projects. Today we made giant finger paintings outside in the sunshine. Ben and Josh really enjoyed themselves, especially painting their entire hands and feet, and getting all gloopy, gloppy and colorful.

Hmmm...What to do on a Hot, Sunny Day?

Trick mommy into thinking Luke's going to walk for the umpteenth time, but refuse to take a step (heh heh heh)?

Or hang out at the park with some of our favorite all-boy families (10 boys, three fams)?
Or chill in the shade with the babes from those same all-boy families?
Or jump on the tramp with the sprinkler blasting us?
Or climb a cool and leafy tree? Or sell lemonade for .25 cents a cup?
Or maybe go for a dry jump on the tramp before bed? So many choices. Only two days...hmmm, we will just have to do them all!
So I know it doesn't make much sense, but five days into the new school year we had two days off. The boys didn't mind as much as I did, and quickly jumped back into their recent habits from our lazy summer days.

When Carrie Came to Town

Carrie Holmes is a friend I absolutely treasure. She has known me since I was just out of diapers, and has been my friend through thick and thin. I moved onto Carrie's street just before I turned three-years-old, back in 1980. We grew up together making mud pies, building haunted houses in her basement, and singing "Take This Job and Shove It!" Carrie is the one who introduced me to my love of running, because she didn't want to do Cross Country alone back in our Freshman year. Since then, despite moves here and there, and distances near and far, we have remained great friends. And the reason is that Carrie is one of those people who is a true blue friend. She truly cares about her friends, motivates, supports and is always there for all of us. Her thoughtfulness for and devotion to her buddies is so admirable. And she has always been this way. I wish I could say that it was just me and my coolness that compels her to stick close to me, but really, there are scores of people out there that would say the same about her. She is an amazing person, and I am so glad to have her as a friend. Oh, and did I mention that she is sky diving above Mount Everest in a month. The girl is incredible!

Here are some pictures from her visit. I forgot my camera the first day when we went up to Longmont to watch her sky dive. But it was so cool! I was immensely impressed. Luke loved watching the parachutes flying in to land. The kids had a blast with her, and I must say Josh LOVED having a new buddy. Every second was, "Carrie" this and "Carrie" that. I was feeling a little neglected...but not too much. Mostly we watched Olympics and chilled together. I had to keep telling her that we usually don't have the TV on at all during the day! I was embarrassed at how much we watched, but we were like addicts! But we did get out to Garden of the Gods, out on the tramp, out to the park, and ate and ate yummy food!

The Way We Were

Friday was the official day Adam and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. So in honor of that day, I thought it would be fun to post our favorite wedding picture. I can't believe it has been ten years, but at the same time I can't believe it has only been ten years. When I think back on the MANY memories we have made together (we have known each other since I was 13, after all!), I feel so content and peaceful about our past. No regrets. The time together has been full of laughter, long chats into the night, a few tears (most of them tears of joy), cuddles galore, purposeful work and abundant play. He is the perfect partner in this dance of life. He is an amazing and loving father; he's really the best...just ask one of his sons! To be super cheesy and quote from Jerry Maguire, we truly complete each other. What more could I ask for? And as I think of our future together, in two years, ten years, twenty years, fifty years, I don't feel any fear at all, I am excited to face it all with him. Love you, A! We are MFEO...it's like a little clue! (sorry, inside joke movie quote, see if you can figure out what it's from ;)).