Friendship: Just Do It; And A Trip To D.C.

In the 1600's Baltasar Gracian said, "Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil." And it really does. I say it all the time, but I am blessed with incredible friends. I know that even though it can feel dark at times, this world is full of goodness and light because of the people who live in it. I know this because, even in my limited experience here on earth, no matter the time in my life or the place I have lived, I have met so many wonderful, kind, caring people.

I have witnessed so many acts of kindness and goodness performed by friends, directed toward me but also toward others. It is inspiring! For example, when Adam was in grad school, some of our poorest, but fondest days, our car had some problem, I can't even remember what it was (it will be so nice to one day own a non-used car that functions properly and has a warranty!). I was so stressed out, Josh was teeny, Christmas had just passed and we had so little money for our basics, much less additional car expenses. Late in the evening after stressing all day, we opened our door to find an anonymous envelope with $100 in it taped to our door. We lived in married student housing, so none of our neighbors had much money either, but someone (or someones) had dug deep and generously given to us. It meant so much more than paying a bill or two, more than that person/people who still remain anonymous (although we've always had our suspicions) will ever know. Our hearts were made full by our secretive friends.

Our friends bless us in many ways, their example makes me want to be a better person, a better mom, a better friend; and I am so glad to have them, to have you, each of you, as a friend. Just like our mystery donor, you have no idea what each of you mean to me. But I hope to let you know. We may be friends from the wee-me days, school days, college days, or grad-school days, we may be newish friends, we may be kismet friends, we may be friends through our motherhood, we may be friends from carefree days or hard times, we may be friends because we were lucky enough to end up in the same family, we may be secret-keeper friends or casual friends, we may be blog or facebook friends, we may be any combination of these things. No matter the way our friendship exists, I am touched and changed by each of you. I know sometimes I get caught up in the business of big family life, but I hope that never keeps me from being as good a friend to you as you have been to me.

Why do I wax so cheesy poetic at this time? I have a heart full of gratitude for my friends just now. And I will tell you why (don't I always?).

Adam just returned home from a four day trip to Maryland/D.C. for work. He left on Sunday, while Zach was still sick with fever and we were all stuck at home. I was talking to my friend Lisa on the phone. She had called to see if she could pick Ben up for school on Monday morning since Zach was going to be home and couldn't walk with him. While we were talking she offered to bring us dinner. I declined. We finished our conversation and hung up. Not thirty seconds later, she called back again and said, "I'm not giving you a choice. I'm bringing you some soup and bread." And she did.

Lisa knows. She knows that special thing about us moms, and I think people in general, that we are usually inclined to say, "No, thanks, " when we are offered help because we like to be independent and prove to ourselves we can do it. We don't like to impose or have anyone go out of their way for us. But that doesn't mean we don't want or need help, so often we do. I definitely have learned this lesson during the times when Adam has had to work away, like the three months he spent in South Korea, or the six months he was here in Colorado, with only every other weekend home, while we were trying to sell the house. An offer for help is always wonderful and thoughtful and SO appreciated, but when someone just says, "I'm doing this for you, and you can't say 'No,'" it is such a blessing. Because, while we usually say, "No," that doesn't make our need less, and sometimes taking the option to say, "No," away lightens the burden immensely. I still do the "offer" a lot of the time, for my offer of help is very genuine and open, but when I know a friend really needs it, I try to remember this lesson and just do it.

These past four days demonstrated to me how many others know this lesson too. My friend Jenn suggested we get our kids together for a dinner one of the nights Adam was gone because her husband was going to have a night away for work too. And when your husband is away, isn't it just nice to have another adult to chat with in the evening while your kids play? She wasn't sure which night he'd be gone, and unfortunately the night he went out of town was scout night, so we didn't end up getting together. But the gesture was still kind and appreciated.

Last night my friend Adri invited us for dinner at her home. She knew Adam wasn't going to be home until later in the evening, and her husband had a late night at work, so she figured it would be a fun night to get the kids all together. And fun it was! Aside from a tasty dinner (I need that meatball recipe, Adri!), the kids got to play together, and have a good after-dinner wrestle, which is something both Adri's and my kids all miss when daddy's not home!

My friend Trinette, upon hearing that I was going to take the kids with me to pick Adam up at the Colorado Springs Airport at 9:30 last night, declared that she was bringing her book to my house at 9pm and would sit with the kids so they could get to bed at their regular bedtime, instead of two-and-a-half hours late.

So many acts of kindness in such a short four days.... Thanks for reminding me of that great and important lesson to "just do it" when it comes to serving friends. These are just examples from this week; I see my friends doing stuff like this for me and for each other all the time. So to all of you, my nation of friends, thank you for being who you are and all that you have taught me in your goodness, kindness and service to all!

On the topic of "nation" (see how I made that work? or not.), as I said, Adam just spent four days in Maryland on business, and got to visit some of the sights of our Nation's Capitol. I have, sadly, never made it that far East (earlier I said my experience here on earth has been limited, even geographically!). But Adam, in the freezing cold, with only a little thin jacket which I told him wouldn't be enough for the weather out there, braved the night to see some sights one day after work. Adam says the pictures don't do it justice, and I am inclined to agree. They are lovely, and sometimes breathtaking, so I can only imagine what it all looks like in person! And now...some scenes from Washington D.C....

The Capitol Building shining in the Night

From John Winthrop's Shining City Upon a Hill speech: "[W]e must love one another with a pure heart fervently. We must bear one another's burdens. We must not look only on our own things, but also on the things of our brethren... We must be willing to abridge ourselves of our superfluities, for the supply of others' necessities. ... We must delight in each other; make others' conditions our own; rejoice together, mourn together, labor and suffer together, always having before our eyes our commission and community in the work, as members of the same body."

Adam at the Lincoln Memorial

So serious Abe! Don't worry, well done, Sir!
The Washington Monument in the frozen-over Reflection Pool
The Vietnam Memorial...all those names....

Evidence that Adam loves and embraces my feminist side:He took this picture of the tribute to the women who served in various ways during World War II at the lovely new WWII Memorial.

On his way from the airport to his hotel the first night, he fortuitously passed the D.C. Temple. Such a beautiful temple!