American Discovery Half Marathon 2011

In the late spring I started including some longer runs and adding some speed and strength workouts to my regular running routine.  In June, after I mentioned a long run I had taken, a friend of mine asked me what I was training for and I said, "I'm not."  But that got me thinking: all the hard work I was doing should at least have a purpose...beyond being able to eat the food I like that is.  So I picked a race at the end of the summer, The American Discovery Half Marathon on Labor Day, 2011.  It was perfect.  It gave me a long time to train, it was on a Monday instead of a Sunday, and my parents would be in town, because the more fans you have to cheer you on the better you feel!

I have only run one other half marathon, the Canyonlands Half, in Moab, Utah, the March after Josh was born, so it's been over 6 years since my last one.  I hadn't had a huge amount of time to train following Josh's birth in October, but I set my sights on a 2-hour finish and got going on my training, sometimes running in Provo's shin-deep snow just to get my run in.  I ended up finishing in 2 hours, 1 minute.  Although that was a GREAT finish time (I still wear my t-shirt with pride), and it was my first half, plus I had just had a baby so I gave myself a break, it was hard to miss my mark by 1 minute, and it has bugged me, not a lot, but just a little, ever since.

So this half I had only one goal: to break the 2 hour mark.  I had a lot of fantastic training runs right from the get-go.  Even though during training your long runs are supposed to be slower than your desired half-marathon time by 20%, it was hard to reign in on my speed when I was feeling great.  Before leaving for Seattle this summer I had an 8-mile run with an average pace of 7 minutes 34 seconds.  Then we got to sea level and I felt like a super star!  I had a couple of long runs there with a pace just above 7 minutes per mile.  But then we came back to Colorado Springs and I felt like a slug.  I was having a hard time running 9 minute miles, I felt like I had no energy after the first five miles, and I was SO discouraged!

And then I made the mistake of running my last long training run too late in the day a couple of Saturdays ago.  It was a hot day, over 90 degrees, and I got totally dehydrated.  I ended up running my miles at a barely 10 minute mile pace.  I thought all my training was down the drain.  Feeling dismayed, weak and irritated I decided I would put myself on pace to finish the half at 1:59.  I told myself that if I could just break that 2-hour mark it would be enough. I needed to be happy no matter how close to 2 hours I came, as long as I got under that mark.  But I knew deep down I would still feel robbed.  I had put in a lot of training, I was prepared to go faster and sea level running had seemed to ruin it all.

Then last night, while trying to fall asleep and doing all I could to NOT think about the race in the morning, I talked myself into setting my pace with the 1 hour 45 minute pace group.  I had done it.  I could do it.  I just needed to get myself out of my head--and DO it!  What was the worst that could happen?  I hit a wall and have to walk a little bit, that would be the worst.  In the end I would finish no matter what, and would I really be any less disappointed with a 1:59 minute race than a 2:10 minute race when it came down to it?  No.  They would both stink because I knew I could do better. I had to go for it.  I had to believe in the training I had done and move past the challenges I had had since our Seattle trip.

So as we lined up this morning at the race start line I found Alan, the 1:45 pace man.

I stuck with Alan and our little 1:45 pace group until mile four, when we passed the porta-pottie and it called to me.  Dang it!  I knew I had to go at the start, but I thought it was just nerves since I had just gone.  I was out of the potty in 1 minute, but I had lost Alan.  So I just got going again on my own.  I am a terrible pacer.  It must be said.  I settled into what I thought had been the pace I was running with Alan's group and carried on.  Once I passed the next mile marker I began using my watch to keep track of my pace and that helped incredibly.  I wasn't spot-on, but I was just trying to stick with 8 to 8:30 minute miles. 

Just before the halfway point turn-around (it was an out-and-back course) I saw Alan's group, and they were only about 45 seconds ahead of me!  And I was feeling good, no, GREAT.  Minor twinges here and there, but my lungs were happy, my muscles were strong, and I had no foot cramping whatsoever, a problem that had plagued my longer training runs.  The weather was cooperating too.  The day couldn't have been more perfect.  It was cool and the breeze was light.  While I had not been thankful for the 5am alarm that morning, I was very grateful for the 6:30am start time by mile 8, as the day was obviously warming up.  I did a good job of using my gels--not too early but not too late--and hydrating well.  So I picked up the pace a bit.

At the 10-mile mark a nice guy who was just in front of me was getting water at the aid station and said, "I was waiting for you to tell you that you are setting a killer pace!"  And he gave me a big high-five.  It was just what I needed to hear.  I finished off my last gel, was feeling fantastic and thought, "Three miles is nothing!"  I knew I was going fast, and a couple of times in the three remaining miles I had to talk myself out of a couple of those negative thoughts like, "I'm so tired, I can't keep up this pace!" but the miles kept rolling and I kept going!  Watching my pace on my watch helped a ton, knowing how much time I likely had before my next mile marker helped me to keep pushing.  And I stuck right tight behind a man and his son who seemed to be attempting the same pace as me.

And then it was the end.  The finish line was in sight, and so was Alan with his 1:45 pace group sign!  I gave it a final push and then it was over.  I finished in 1 hour 45 minutes and 19 seconds, that is almost exactly 8 minute miles.  I was 15th out of 236 women, 4th in my age group for women (30-35), and 64th overall out of 456 men and women combined.  I didn't feel like I was dying like I had on my last long training run.  I felt great!  I felt incredible!  I saw my time as I crossed the finish line and started crying.  And every time I think about it now, I still can't believe it and I get teary all over again!  Honestly, I am in a little bit of shock.  I often feel proud of my boys and I regularly feel proud of my husband, but I can think of only a few other times in my life that I have felt this proud of myself.

I am glad the training is over.  I love to run, but really long runs are not my favorite thing.  They are really time consuming at a time in my life when I am needed more at home.  And 13-plus miles is hard on my bod, it doesn't like the really long runs much.  I hurt everywhere tonight.  I am now ready to settle into some nice 5k's and 10k's for awhile, those are my bread-and-butter.  Love them.  I think 13 is my body's limit.  Marathoners will forever impress me!!  I'd never say never, but, as a friend of mine recently said, "I think I've crossed full-marathon off the 'to-do'' list."  But I will continue to do half marathons for sure, especially when I need a challenge.  I enjoy the difficulty factor and the feeling of pushing myself hard and exceeding my expectations for myself.  Although I don't know if I can ever top this experience or set this pace again!  That is OK though, I will be forever content if this ends up as my P.R. 

It was a great day!  I can float on this feeling for a good long while.

Ben was able to participate in the kids 1-mile fun run following the race.  I just love, LOVE the smile on his face in the first photo!  He is completely and absolutely in his happy place: curro ergo sum!  He ran great and finished second, behind the winner by just a few paces.

Ben's Bouncing Birthday Bash!

Ben chose to celebrate his birthday (a family-party-only year) with a family trip down to Art Sports, our local trampoline training center, for two hours of jumping during the center's open gym time.  Yes, when you live in Colorado Springs, home to the U.S. Olympic Training Center, those oft-forgotten Olympic sports/events, such as trampoline, have their own centers and trainees.  The only unfortunate thing about Art Sports is that adults over the age of 21 aren't allowed to bounce.  I guess it's not too bad an idea, since some of us aren't so good at judging what our aging bodies can still do (such as Adam's ill-fated front flip on the beach during spring break that resulted in a sandy bum and a bruised tailbone).  But watching the kids having SO much fun, bouncing non-stop for TWO HOURS, did make us spectators a little jealous and itching to jump too!   

And BOY did the BOYS HAVE FUN!  They were all smiles.  Josh has already declared that his family party in October needs to be at Art Sports as well.  Their energy was boundless and it felt like they didn't stop moving for the entire time we were there.  There was flipping, flopping, climbing, leaping, jumping, bouncing, bounding, diving, swinging, spinning.  It was busy-kid heaven and a perfect way to celebrate Ben, our monkey boy. 

Luke had a couple of very brave moments at the center.  One when he jumped off an elevated trampoline ramp into a foam block pit (and then did it again and again and again and...by the end he was jumping out with confidence instead of cautiously stepping off), and the second when he flew across a foam block pit holding onto a trapeze.  Both activities he desired to do, then when his turn came he refused to do because he was scared, and then decided, all on his own, with no suggestion from me, to go back and go for it.  And DID it!!!  The trapeze he had wanted to do after the first hour had passed, but didn't get up the courage until the very end of the second hour.  Then he swung out over the pit three times before we had to go because open gym was over.  I was so, so proud of him.  And more importantly, I could tell he was very proud of himself. 

Luke wasn't the only one stretching limits!  Josh climbed to the top of the gym's rope, almost to the ceiling.  Zac figured out how to spin in multiple flips using the bungee cord harness.  I think he did 9 in a row at one point without touching the trampoline!  And Ben did more flips off of the trampolines into the foam pits than Zac and Josh combined.  Even though I wasn't allowed to jump, I had a blast watching my boys have the time of their lives.  Judging by the success of the day, I am sure this is just the first of our Art Sports birthday outings for the Chaos boys.

(For the photos that are a little more distant: Josh is in teal, Zac is in yellow, Ben is in white, Luke is in long-sleeved navy and jeans)

Ben's 9th Birthday

Tonight Ben and I looked through the 2002 scrapbook, the year he was born.  It made my heart squeeze and smoosh and twinge with nostalgia and love for my darling Benny boy and the 9 fast years we've shared.  He was such a darling baby.  His head was perfectly round and so bald, like a cue ball!  He was fully awake for what felt like the first 24 hours after he was born (and of course I was exhausted having labored through the night because he was born at 6:18am).  He was clearly unhappy about being thrust into the cold, bright world and was only comforted when I held him closely...so I happily obliged!  But as soon as he got past the fact that he indeed was out and could not go back, he was ready to move and eager to be as competent and capable as his big brother, even if he was 20 months younger.  He rolled at 3 months, army crawled at 4, crawled at 6 and was walking (running!) by 10 months.  He was busy, loved climbing, dumping toys, running, and jumping (because if Zac did it, he could too!) and was only still when listening to books (which he loved even back then) or sleeping soundly.  And he was smart too!  He spoke in sentences, adorable carefully and slowly pieced together sentences, at 18 months.     

Those early days of motherhood sure were sweet.  I know they weren't perfect, but I can't remember anything about them that was bad!  Isn't it so nice how our memories work like that?  The days were filled with me and my two boys, trips to the park, walks up and down the hill and around the nice neighborhoods bordering our apartment, visiting with friends.  And the evenings were fantastic with Dad home from work, I remember happily cooking dinner while Adam played with his boys, sitting with Ben in the sun while watching Zac and Adam splashing in the pool, or visiting with our family that lived so close back then.  We didn't have much, but we had SO much!  Our Christmas tree that year was so tiny we put it up on our kitchen table.

Looking back on the pictures I am always reminded of how much Zac loved Ben from the start.  Their friendship was natural and easy and continues to be today.  I remember how tenderly Zac would regard Ben, and how he'd treat Ben as a friend, "reading" to him and playing with him.  Sometimes a little too rough, like the time I found plastic lion footprints, red marks walking across Ben's forehead, after getting out of the shower (I had put Ben in the port-a-crib, thinking he was safe in there, but Zac had found a way in so he could play with his baby brother).  But usually Zac was perfectly gentle, until Ben started instigating the tackle wrestling, which they still do today.  The day we brought Ben home from the hospital we walked {slowly} down to our little neighborhood park.  Zac was playing on the playground when another kid walked over to look at Ben, asleep in his car seat.   Zac ran right over, put his little hand on the handle of the car seat and said, "That's my Benny."  And that is just how it was with them.  They were two peas in a pod from day one.

Ben has grown into an incredible young man.  He is smart and quick.  His grades are great and his teachers love having him in class.  He is a reading-machine, and is often found in a quiet spot with his nose in a book.  He still loves figuring out a good puzzle and creating something cool from whatever medium he chooses; right now it's paper: origami-maniac!  He is a good friend and makes good choices in his friends.  He likes to be the goof-ball and make people laugh.  He is always trying to do his best.  He looks up to and admires Zac incredibly, and is starting to see Josh more as a peer and less as a little brother, but he can be a pest to them at times too.  He usually gets in trouble with his brothers for taking the "bugging game" too far.  It's something we're working on a lot with him right now.  Stopping before the joke or behavior is no longer funny.  He takes it hard when he gets in trouble for doing something he shouldn't have.  I know he tries to be nonchalant about it at times, but I can always tell how bothered he is when he is called out for a mistake he has made.  He loves snuggles and one-on-one moments with Adam and I, relishing in the personal attention.  He is such a boy!  If it's a quintessential boy activity: climbing, digging, building, sports, Ben is into it!  His favorite sports are soccer and running.  He loves being a big brother and loves to tell me he thinks he is Tommy's "favorite."  He's not a big eater and is REALLY picky, but he has his high-calorie favorites, so I am working on just letting him be with his eating choices.  It's hard!  But, as my mom LOVES to point out, I was the same as he is when I was a kid.  All his assets, quirks and personality traits add up to one incredible boy.

We had a great day today.  Nine is an odd birthday year for Ben, so that means a family party instead of a friend party, so we have plans for some fun this weekend.  But today we just did our best to spoil our Ben.  Starting with his requested breakfast in bed of "grandma pancakes" filled with pears and blueberries and his favorite: a big cup of milk.  He brought chocolate-chocolate-chip cookie sandwiches with peppermint buttercream filling to share with his classmates at school.  Adam met him for lunch.  Ben received his birthday present as soon as he walked in the door from school: a new bike, 21 speed, for mountain biking with Dad, and took it for a few spins around the block, working on shifting gears.  He pretended to be surprised, but he knew all about it, since I let him pick out the one he wanted earlier in the week.  We went to get pizza for dinner before he zipped off to soccer practice.  When he arrived home we sang happy birthday over a pumpkin pie lit with nine candles.  That's what he wanted for dessert!  And finally he and I settled in to look at the scrapbook pictures...which is why this post ended up so long.

Happy 9th birthday Ben!  Dad and I are so proud of you!

Chop Chop!

I did it.  I've been thinking about it for a long time and I finally did it.  I had my hair chopped off.  And I love it...today.  Who knows if I'm going to wake up in tears over my dearly departed hair tomorrow.  That is a very likely possibility. {eek!}  One thing is for sure, it's going to be a change to get used to; no more ponytails or buns--my go-to hair-dos--now I will have to rely on barrettes to keep it out of my face when it gets annoying.  Oh dear!  But it feels great: easy and light.  My head feels a bit like it is going to float off my neck with all the weight gone!  I am happy.  I think it looks cute!  And Adam is enjoying the easy neck access. {wink, wink}   

Dad and Zac: Backpacking, Vandals and A Sweet Lesson

Awhile back we heard about some fantastic backpacking trips our brother-in-law used to take as a young man with his dad.  As his sister and brothers grew older, they joined in the trips too.  The hikes became longer as time went on, covering more miles and lasting more days.  These trips carried on into our brother-in-law's adulthood and he remembers them as some of the best and most adventuresome times with his dad.

We loved the idea!  And this year, Zac's 10th, we decided Zac was ready for his first short overnight backpack trip.  Zac can be a little wary of physical activities that might be difficult; he has mentioned that he isn't "a hiker," even though that just makes me laugh because we do a lot of hiking and he always has fun.  However, in spite of that when we first mentioned the backpack trip to him he wasn't totally enthusiastic.  But as Adam and Zac talked about it more, he became more excited for the trip and by "go" day he was pumped!  Adam was too.  As a matter of fact, as planning became more firm, a location was chosen, distances were determined, and packing lists were made, Adam told me a number of times how stoked he was for the trip. 

They set out from the Gold Creek parking lot on Friday afternoon in a light rain...which continued until 9:30 that night.  They hiked just two miles in, it wasn't far, but for Zac's first time backpacking Adam didn't want to overdo it, so that Zac would want to go again next summer!  Plus, Adam was carrying 45 pounds, which wasn't much of a problem, but Zac was carrying 11, and Adam wasn't sure how Zac would do with the weight.  It was definitely a trial run, but it was a success!  They had a great hike, arrived at their site (by "the crooked tree"--per our friend Vern's directions who gave Adam the location suggestion for the trip) and set up camp.

It took them a long time to start a campfire, with all the kindling soaking wet, but they did eventually get one going when Zac found some dry needles under one of the larger pines.  They cooked up some hotdogs, tied their food to a tree to keep it away from bears and, tired of being damp, climbed into the tent for a night of chatting and card playing.

They awoke to sunshine but everything was damp still, and they hadn't slept well.  That's what happens when you don't hike FAR enough...you aren't exhausted enough to think sleeping on a small air pad is comfortable!  It was going to be hard to start a fire with the kindling all wet still.  So after deciding to head home for breakfast rather than try to get a fire going to cook their oatmeal, they began the walk back to the car.

Earlier that day our friend Vern headed out for a morning of mountain biking.  Instead of going up to the Falcon Trail on the AFA base where he had been planning on riding, he thought it would be fun to go see Adam and Zac.  So he saw IT first.  IT.  Once he saw IT, he nixed his plans for quick hello to my guys followed by a long ride, and instead he rode on up the trail, met them, and walked his bike back to the parking lot with them.  He kindly hadn't mentioned IT until just before reaching the cars, so the hike back wouldn't be totally ruined.  What was IT?  IT was our Subaru, every window smashed in, surrounded by broken glass and beer cans, and one slashed tire.  No reason.  Adam hadn't been rude to anyone in the parking lot or on the trail (as the police officer who took the report kept suggesting--they hadn't even seen anyone in the parking lot when they arrived Friday afternoon and only gave friendly "hellos" to those they passed on the trail).  Nothing was stolen from the car.  Just a bunch of bored, mean, mad, drunk people vandalizing the car of a total stranger.

Here's the funny thing.  Adam was totally fine.  He didn't get mad, he didn't get upset.  Today I had two different guys who he went golfing with later Saturday say that he hadn't even mentioned it, as if it wasn't a big deal at all.  And I think part of his calm coolness was the knowledge that God had been watching out for him and Zac that morning.  Sure, the car was in BAD shape.  Adam, Zac and Vern had to wait for the cops to file a police report, had to call the insurance company and wait for the tow truck to come get the car because even with a spare tire to replace the slashed one, it was undrivable.  But the car is just material, not God's greatest concern.  His concern that morning was for his sons.  So He had sent Vern.  Vern hadn't even planned on being there, but he had followed the prompting in his mind to change locations for his ride (although he wouldn't have called it that at the time).  Vern was there when it all went down and that served as a calming influence for Adam as well as Zac.  Because of Vern's presence Adam was able to make light of the situation, Vern had an extra phone when Adam's battery died making calls, and Vern gave them a ride home when all was wrapped up.  Having his friend there took the weight off.  And Adam's attitude about it all helped the situation not be scary and upsetting for Zac.

So even though it was a bad way to end the trip, Zac and Adam had a blast.  They loved their time together, even in the rain.  Adam said it was so great just to talk with his son, interruption free.  I know they will be doing another backpacking trip again next summer (although they might choose a DIFFERENT location for a starting point!).  And ultimately, it was a GREAT opportunity to learn about God's care and concern for His children.