And the house is scoured from top to bottom. Sheets/blankets and bathroom rinse cups are washed in soapy, scorching hot water; floors are vacuumed, swept, and mopped; ledges and surfaces are dusted; toilets are shiny and the scent of Clorox floats strongly in the air in all three bathrooms (which I usually associate with some kind of cancer growing in my body which is why I rarely use it, but today it means that the germs are dying a thousand painful deaths which makes me grin my "I win" grin).
And not only is today back to normal, I get some time away from my home. *hee hee hee* Along with an afternoon away at craft club (making an apron using sewing skills that I do not have, but that is OK because I am with some of my favorite girls and--let me be clear that with as much as I love my girls this is the best part--not at home), and a relaxing baby shower (for which I am in the process of baking the rad and extremely fun to make with kids Rainbow Cake that my Sis found on this blog-- pictures below), Adam and I get to go on a date. We are going to catch a movie that has no kid-friendly characters whatsoever (this seemingly harsh announcement will make sense later in the post) and have some Panera. And I am R-E-A-D-Y. Oh my goodness, yes. If you could see me now, even as I type, I am shedding a tear for the joy of it.
Can you guess which colors of cake batter Luke got to sample?
So there is your rainbow. And now for the mud, the oozy, yucky, dirty mud of our lives. Put on your Wellies! Because we've been slogging through it this week, so you shall too!
I will tell you why I feel similarly about this afternoon/evening as I would about an afternoon on a paradisaical tropical beach, even though it is just a simple date night (WARNING!: All the "list" stuff going around Facebook may have affected my ability to write posts that do not include lists such as the previous post and the one you see below):
Mud Puddle #1: Last weekend, after a long day of chores (you know, those things that are dreaded and draining, but necessary evils?), and chore enforcing (you know, that extremely fun thing you have to do that is met with whines, rolled-eyes, passive-resistance, and a tear or two?), boy bickering (you know, those snitty words that get under everyone's skin, not just that of the person they are intended for, creating tattling, crying, pouting, and general grumpiness from all...primarily mommy?), and a longer than expected visit with the guy at H and R Block (you know, that meeting that is supposed to be a-half-an-hour, but turns out to be two-hours, and you are left alone with all that other stuff already mentioned?), Adam called and sent me to the van for some info necessary to improve our return (which was pleasing in the end), and it was so quiet and peaceful in the car...oh so quiet...quiet...ahhhhhh...that I just stayed for a couple of minutes after we hung up. Just sat there in the car, savoring the aloneness of it all.
Mud Puddle #2: See Thursday's post, primarily the addendum. Seriously, gang, the disgustingness of the past five days is so beyond what human beings should have to endure, I don't know how my mental facilities are intact. Maybe they aren't. ugh.
Mud Puddle #3: The word "furlough" used to bring to mind brilliant professors taking a year or two to travel around the world and study things important to their area of expertise. You know what it means now? It means a week of enforced time-off without pay for Adam earlier this year. That's nice. But apparently in this economy that isn't enough. Because this week's step was pay cuts for all. So we are back to the salary we were at before Adam took this new job. Nice, again. But I guess that is better than more what they in the HR business call "correct-sizing" (as my friend Alissa says, "Like that term is better than 'lay-offs'"), because I don't want to see people losing their jobs either. But with all this readjustment to meet the needs of a cruddy economy, the thought that Adam could lose his job is always at the back of my mind, even though Adam reassures me we don't have to worry. Really, Colleen. Really. But how can I not?
Mud Puddle #4: Yesterday, when he got home from school, Zach said, "No homework this weekend! Not any even from my reader!" When I checked his planner however, there surely was reading from said reader. And his previous statement became suspect, especially because of the added "reader" portion. So I said, "Zach did you just forget, or are you not telling the truth?" Zach, looking quite glum and contrite replied, "Well, I forgot my book." Grrrrr. {Mommy horns and fangs sprout, as eyes turn glowing blood-red} So not only did he lose his screen time for the big ol' fat L-I-E, screen time that he had so diligently been working for to be able to use this weekend, we also had to walk back to the school with a feverish Josh, a hungry Luke and a pouting Ben, and the cold, angry wind whipping my hair around my Mommy horns.
Mud Puddle #5: I have endured days and days of children's movies, and not the ones I love, like Finding Nemo and Nanny McPhee. We're talking Land Before Time Volumes I through CXXVI (yes, there is an "earthshake" in every single movie), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (for the 5,453rd time), Dora the Explorer (yes, my boys still love the sassy, Spanish-speaking senorita, and who am I to deny them her educational annoyingness when it means I don't have to watch the less desirable Little People and their odd nightmare-inducing claymation...Delicioso!), and I have to wonder, why does Swiper feel the need to take things just to throw them into the bushes? Why?
Mud Puddle #6: I stepped on three Legos yesterday (if you don't have a child who is into Legos, just know that those little buggers may not appear threatening, but the feeling of one sinking its sharp little edges into your foot makes me think of hungry piranhas devouring my foot flesh), and cut my thumb with a knife in the exact same spot I did just one week ago that had finally healed to the point where it wasn't annoying and tender anymore.
Mud Puddle #7: I am a veteran of the "Get back in bed, you're sick, so you can't play with your brothers!" war. As well as the "No, you can't sit and watch movies all day when you are well, so go find something fun to do, and be happy about it, dang it!" war. Couldn't they all have gotten sick at the same time, in one vomitous mass (forgive the imagery there)?
Mud Puddle #8: I have only been away from my house for a total of five hours since Monday afternoon, two of which were spent at the dentist's office where they were really nice, but didn't have any toys for Josh to play with or books to read, other than a wood block puzzle, the kind Luke currently enjoys playing with, while I had my teeth cleaned for the first time in a year, in other words it took a really long time for them to get my chompers clean, so he played with my purse, swinging back and forth from the hook it was hanging on, and now it has white scrapes all over the green pleather. It's not a costly loss, but annoying, nonetheless. One of the remaining three hours was spent at the grocery store with three children. 'Nuf said.
Mud Puddle #9: Let me refer you to my last post once again.
Mud Puddle #10: Yesterday, I ate four chocolate chip cookies in 30 seconds. Is that the behavior of a woman who is in complete control of her senses? No. No it is not.
Mud Puddle #11: After Friday afternoon's discussion on honesty with Zach, and by "discussion" I mean passionate lecture, at bedtime I noticed his Gameboy missing from its bag. When I asked him where it was, he sheepishly took it out of hiding below his bed where he had stashed it in order to play it after lights out. {Mommy horns, fangs, and blood-red eyes this time accompanied by green scaly skin and stegosauri-like spines} After vehement lecture, and by "lecture" I mean loud and forceful shouting, I took a deep breath and quietly discussed responsibility, honesty, trust and consequences with Zach. "I love you, honey, no matter what, but I am very disappointed in your choices today. You need to think, 'What is more important, having one hour of secret Gameboy play time, or mommy's trust for the next few months.' Because you've lost that, and you need to work to get it back, not with words, but with actions." Let glazed-eyed staring begin.
Mud Puddle #12: Luke has thrown 28 tantrums over the past four days. Twenty of them having something to do with either a) not being allowed to play with my sharp knitting needles; b) not having a t-shirt on that has a ball of some sort; or c) not being able to snuggle up with one sick brother or another. What were the other 8 ones over, you ask? I have no @*%&@$! idea.
So I am going out for the afternoon and then I am going on a date. This date night is like a good pair of Wellingtons. So was making that cake today with the boys. My very stylish "just laughing together" and my attractive "licking every last bit of cake batter off the bowls" boots. And actually, another surprising pair of boots I put on today was watching Zach clean his designated toilet. He did it with such gusto, and actually got it pretty durn clean! I only had to do a few little re-wipes. Awesome. It's the boots that make the mud not so bad. And, ultimately, even with all the mud, I have a lot of great, mud-proof boots.