Soccer Futures

If sports haven't ever ruled your life like they rule mine most of the time (and I don't mean that in a negative way), this may make me sound like a crazy person, but here it is: soccer next year will look a little different for the Conlins and I am pretty sad about some of it.

There's all kinds of lame age-group changes going on with US Soccer right now that are confusing, dumb and lengthy to explain, so I won't, but bottom line, they only benefit a fraction of 1% percent of the kids who play soccer across the nation and are complicating and disrupting the program for everyone else.

Ben's not-starting-high-school-but-born-in-2002 age group will be the most impacted by the shift this year, plus the Golden Boys are being broken up because of it, plus plus there's this Development Academy starting up for our club that will pull a lot of the top talent from age groups out of the state leagues (Ben wasn't interested in the D.A. so we didn't ever consider it much), plus plus PLUS the kid just loves to run, so we've known for awhile that Ben was thinking he'd possibly not continue with soccer in the fall.  He's been playing and loving the game since he was three, so imagining Ben's life without soccer in it is difficult, but we could ultimately understand the motivation behind his decision if he decided not to play.

However, when it came down to it, I think it was just too hard for Ben to imagine life without soccer as well.  He decided to go ahead and give tryouts a try and was reminded of all that he loves about the game, so when he was called and offered a spot on the 2002 Predator boys' team, he didn't really have to think hard about it.  He was in!  Fall will be weird, because he will play on one of two new "supplemental" teams that will be filled using all the '02 birth-year boys who aren't in high school yet nor playing D.A., but we will see how it goes.  We told him to just have fun and keep it simple, and as an added bonus, he gets to play for Glen in the fall, our most favorite coach ever.  We are excited to keep cheering on our Benny on the soccer field!

Just before all this went down with Ben, out of the blue, after first being offered his goal keeper spot back for the 04 Predator team at his tryouts, which is extra impressive considering he beat out older players born before him in 2004, not just other next-year-6th-graders (stupid age group changes!), Josh decided he was ready for new avenues, too.

And just like that, he quit soccer.

Wait!!  No!  We had a couple of lengthy talks, wherein I did everything I could to change his mind while Adam was awesomely supportive of whatever Josh wanted--or didn't want--to do.  In the end, I think he just got burnt-out this year and was having a hard time with the pressure of being keeper for an elite team.  He is only 11, after all, and let's be honest, I have some sensitive boys.  He did have times during the spring season where we could tell he was trying to come up with excuses for why he couldn't go to practice, and I know he was starting to get a nervous-belly before games.  As we talked, the real nail in the coffin for me was when he said soccer had simply lost its fun for him.  He's a kid.  And the fun of it is actually really important--in spite of his talent and skill and time and practice and money already invested--fun matters.  It is what makes a kid want to keep at it when they are tired and frustrated in the midst of a hard workout.  What can a parent say to that?  He wasn't trying to drop-out mid-season, he wouldn't be letting a team down or not pulling his weight.  It was the beginning of a new year, and the best time to stop if he was going to stop.  So.

In the end, even though it's just a game and we certainly never had delusions that we were going to have college scholarships or an MLS player on our hands, I'm honestly really heartbroken, and I already miss watching him play and shine his light out on the field.  But neither Adam nor I are the kind of parent that will force our kid into a sport, so we have to let it go.  Do we think his decision was a little impulsive?  Yes.  Do we think he may regret his choice when fall comes and all of his best friends are playing?  For sure.  Is it a bummer to see him quit something for which he has so much natural talent?  Certainly.  But we love our Josh, and want to support his choices.  I am sure he will find new things to love.  And perhaps a year off will be healing for his soul (and his bumps and bruises from goal keeping) and he will decide to give soccer another go when he's ready.  At this point, he says he will likely want to play again, but we will wait to see how everything settles out for him as he tries out new things, and it may be that goal keeping at the competitive level for our club won't really be a possibility as other players sift in and develop over the year.

So.  There it is.  We have some changes ahead, some that are a little sad for us, but mostly that's because change is often hard until the outcomes become more clear.  Now it's time to move forward and witness the new interests that will come into Josh's life and spark his joy, and see how Ben will flourish with the new system and new team.  We are happy that they both will still be participating in activities that allow us to embarrass them with our loud cheering.

And of course, Zac and Tommy are 100% in!  We thought for a bit that Zac had found things to replace club soccer in the spring, but he quickly made it clear that he had no intention of quitting club at this time.  He had such a great season with the Copa team and really grew to love the guys he played with.  Although the team will be different with the age-group changes next year, Zac is really excited to play for the Copa 00 team.  He will be coached in the spring by the head varsity coach for Rampart, Coach Karl Anderson, a coach he already admires a great deal!