Christmas Eve Eve

We had a big, busy day Friday! 

First up, we made not-gingerbread-but-the-much-simpler-and-almost-as-much-fun-graham-cracker houses with our friends, the Lowes, Camille, Don, Trent, Kolby, Tanner and Brook.  It was pretty hysterical.  The big boys just went for it, only the little ones wanted a helping hand.  Zac's house collapsed pretty quickly, but he took that as an opportunity to use the fallen grahams for the base of a How The Grinch Stole Christmas Whoville scene, complete with green-wrapped Reese's and gum drop tree surrounded by gummy bear Whos, marshmallow Max with candy cane antlers, a Reese's sleigh with stolen Sixlet Who-toys and the red fruit roll-up wrapped green Sour Patch Kid Grinchy Claus himself.  Josh went for simplicity, mostly because he was too busy eating the candy to bother with decorating his house.  Ben's technique included abundant frostinging, which didn't help the house stay together when he started piling on the candy decor, so he had to prop the roof up with sour patch kids, coated in frosting, of course.  Luke and I worked on his together, making a little graham cracker nativity, an idea sparked by something Camille saw on Pinterest.  As we placed the little orange Jesus gummy bear in the graham manger I couldn't shake the feeling that the idea was actually a little humorous.  For all intents, it's a cute idea, but I don't know if a candy Holiest Night works when it comes time to eat the thing.  I mean, who is going to feel OK about consuming Jesus?!

With loads of candy and abundant frosting resting in their bellies and causing their blood sugar levels to skyrocket, the kids were loaded into cars and driven to Art Sports for Zac's belated birthday outing to bounce out some of that hyper energy.  Although it was a "family party" year for Z, we gave him the option of having two hours of bouncing with just our family or one hour of bouncing and we could ask the Lowes to join us.  He said, "Bouncing for more than an hour makes my back start to hurt, so let's bring the Lowes."  Art Sports never disappoints.  We had a blast. 

After jumping and a quick dinner we gathered at the Fitch home, some friends of ours from church, for their annual scone feast.  Mmmmmmm.  And then Adam came home!  Hooray!  Life just doesn't feel 100% right when he's away from us.

Since the "Santa Incident" (which seems to have caused no lasting damage, the therapy budget can rest in peace), in an effort to give this Christmas a little extra sparkle for the boys I've included some activities that add a bit of magic to the season.  Wednesday night, after dinner with another daddy-absent family I took the boys for a drive to see the Christmas lights.  Mother Nature did her best to help give us a magical night by providing us a glorious snowfall.  The landscape was covered in a glittering white blanket, the lights of the houses were glinting off of the glimmering flakes, Christmas music played softly on the radio and the boys were full of "Oohs" and "Ahhhs."  It was fantastic.  Thursday night we made and hung some paper ornaments that Ben had learned to make at this classroom Christmas party.  The boys love them, and hanging from the living room ceiling with fine clear thread, they look like they are floating.  Magical indeed.  Last night we let the boys sleep by the Christmas tree.  In their excitement it took them a long time to fall asleep, but their sweet, happy faces lit up by the glow of the tree lights and their cheerful brotherly whispering made my heart toasty warm.

YAY! SNOW!

We had about five inches fall on Monday night that hadn't really even started melting before last night's storm blew in, giving us another seven.  Snow not only coats the world in a beautiful white blanket that makes everything feel a little more quiet, peaceful and magical, but it is SO fun!  Well, mostly fun.  Ben and I had to drive out in it this morning, a very, very slow drive to get him to his indoor soccer game.  Driving in it: that's one of the not fun parts of snow.  But as soon as we got home we took advantage of snow fun!  The boys and I took a nice wintry walk while the flakes still fell, then we went to the big hill behind the elementary school for some sledding. 

As badly as Tommy wanted to sled down, I made him stick by my side.  He may think he's all good with how quickly his collar bone is healing, but I'm not risking sledding right now!  The big boys had some good rides while Luke explored the snowy landscape, and then we headed home to warm back up with soup and cocoa.  And now we get to gaze out upon it all evening, watching Christmas movies while we make some decorations, cherishing the gorgeous white world.  I can't help smiling every time my eyes flick to the windows and I see our lovely snow.  We hope it hangs out long enough to keep things a little white for Christmas!

  

I Killed Santa!

This morning I destroyed Christmas for Ben.  I am the worst mother in existence today!  I feel awful!

Based on some questions he's had and statements he's made this season, Adam and I felt it was time to have "The Talk" with Ben.  Not that talk, we've actually already had that one with him; I mean the "Santa Talk."  We really thought he knew, but felt that he was kind of trying to deny that he knew because he thought he was supposed to.  A couple of years ago, as we began to see Zac's belief in Santa waning, we wanted to be the ones to break the news so that he wouldn't feel like we'd been duping him for years and so we could explain Santa in a way that would keep the Magic of Christmas and of Santa Claus alive for him.  When you believe in the symbol of Santa: giving and sharing, magic and faith, kindness and unity, as Adam and I still do, Christmas doesn't lose that excitement, joy and peace that is rooted in the heart from childhood.  We were feeling like Ben was at that waning point this year. 

No.  We were wrong.  He didn't know.

Not that Ben hadn't heard his friends talk about how Santa does not exist plenty of times, but he had chosen to believe anyway.  He's such a sweet, innocent boy and he was choosing to believe!  And I crushed it.

Adam is traveling for work once again (yes, please pray that bad weather will not keep him from returning to us on the 23rd or Christmas could be very lonely for the Chaos!), so the dirty job of having "The Santa Talk" was in my hands.  With Zac we took the "Santa is a symbol of the magic and wonder of Christmas rather than an actual person" approach.  It worked well!  He pretty much knew already and was happy to be in on the big secret and eager to help keep the magic alive.  In fact, it went so well back then that I decided to take that same tack this time.  I started by asking Ben what he knew about Santa, and he told me a couple of different stories he had heard about how Santa came to be.  I asked him what his friends thought and he said, "They don't believe in him."  And I asked him if he did, and he said, "Yes!"  And I said, "Like you believe in Jesus?"  And he said, "Yeah, like that."  Oh my gosh!  I should have stopped there!  It would have been a good conversation and I could have said, "OK, go play!"  But I didn't.  I just kept thinking, "I know he really knows."  I am a FOOL!

I sat down with him and I said, "But I can tell you kinda know they are right, right?"  And he got this worried look on his darling face.  Oh it was sad.  Instantly I knew that he really had no idea.  He wasn't just pretending to still believe because he felt that he was supposed to.  That in spite of all the things people around him said he really, truly did still believe.  And then he gave this little smile, like he knew I needed to see him smile even though I had just destroyed his childhood, so he could help make me feel better about being a total Christmas ruiner.  I should never have said anything!  I started back pedaling.  "But Santa is a wonderful symbol of Christmas..."  "We still believe because it keeps the spirit and magic of Christmas alive..."  "Now you are protector of the secret and must help keep that wonder alive in your little brothers..."  But I had already killed Santa.  He knew it and so did I.  All my hugging, explaining and convincing was just a lame attempt at Santa CPR after time of death has already been called.   

Ben seemed fine at the end of our conversation, he hugged me as much as I hugged him, he was still smiling that little "I'm OK, you're OK" smile.  He said, "Can I go play Skylanders now, Mom?"  Which to me sounded like, "Can I walk away from the devastation of my imagination and belief and the destruction of my youth and innocence and pretend we never had this conversation now, Mom?"
  
I may be overreacting a little bit, but I feel so sad!  If he had mostly known, as Zac had, it would have been just fine, a step into big-kidhood that was coming anyway.  But I feel like I forced him to take a step prematurely.  As the day has worn on he is acting like all is well.  He saw a clip on The Today Show that had a man dressed up as Santa in it and he said, "Who is that?"  And I said, "Santa, of course!"  And he gave me this mature knowing smile; he is happy to be in on the secret.  But I'd rather be seeing that light of Christmas magic and belief in his face.

You can be sure that I will do all I can to make this the most magical Christmas for Ben ever.  Believe on, my Ben! 

Basketball Wraps-Up

This season we had all three of the older boys in basketball.  Zac and Ben were making a return to the game, and Josh was giving it a go for the first time.  All three boys had good parent-volunteer coaches, a great time playing and learned much.  And as always it was so fun to watch them play. 

There were a lot of games that crossed over time-wise, especially between Zac and Josh, and we only brought the camera to one day of games because the pictures are always so awful inside the gym.  After searching back through the pictures, it looks like we failed to get any pictures of Josh playing because the day we brought the camera to the games Josh's game must have been at the same time as Zac's!  So I only have his end-of-season-smile-with-your-medal picture.  However, Zac and Ben opted out of the second half of the winter basketball season in favor of indoor soccer, but Josh has decided to give basketball another go, so I will have another chance to get pictures of him playing this year!  Redemption!