Sunday Firsts

Today was a pretty big day for dear little Tommy. It is his 18th-month birthday (post on that to come later)! My darling boy is one-and-one-half-years-old! That's big time. At church, when a child becomes 18-months they can begin attending the nursery. It's mostly playtime, with some singing time, story time, snack time, and a little 2-3 minute lesson thrown in to break up the 2 hours...all fun, right?! This first-day-of-nursery is a day highly anticipated by LDS moms and dads across the world. A day to celebrate, really. No more trying to entertain a wiggly and noisy toddler during adult classes. No more pacing the halls with an antsy little one. No more shushing and cajoling and providing endless snacks to keep your baby occupied. It's a good day. But it's also a little sad, as all declarations of the constant forward march of time are, for a sentimental gal like me. And with no babe in arms coming up to fill the void, as has been the case in our four other first-days-of-nursery, it's even more bittersweet. *hot eyes*

I've been concerned about Tommy's transition into nursery for the past couple of months. It would have been nice if I could have put him in at 15-months, when he was bold and intrepid, but as his half birthday approached, his toddler stranger anxiety phase bloomed. He will sometimes smile at strangers from the safety of Mom or Dad's arms, but chances are equally good that he will turn his head and bury his face in our shoulders. As he gets comfortable with someone he doesn't know being nearby, he might warm up. But he also might not. With a couple of exceptions, he doesn't like babysitters. He hates being left behind, even if it's for something as innocuous as walking into the garage to take a trash bag out to the garbage can. He is like Velcro, my constant pal, my joey. Some days, some times, I put him down and this is what I get:So, you ask, how did his first day of nursery go? Well, after he cried, huge, sobbing wails for the first hour--off and on, the nursery leaders finally went to get Adam, handed Tommy over with a little apologetic shrug and cheerfully said, "We'll try again next week!" And they had tried. I know, I peeked in through the little window in the door throughout that first hour. Adam got him settled down, and, abandoning his own class to his teaching partner, took Tommy back into nursery...and stayed there with him. Tommy was perfectly happy exploring, playing, listening to stories and singing songs as long as Dad was in plain sight.

I have a feeling this will be the routine for the next few months: I'll take the first hour shift sitting with Tommy in nursery, then, when the third hour starts and I have to go to Young Women's as Adam's class ends its class time and moves into the Senior Primary room, he will take over our vigilant watchfulness. Because this is all he really needs from us. Just to know we're nearby watching him.

So maybe we won't be peacefully listening to lessons and being spiritually edified for a few months. But it's a first step. And Tommy's been coming with us to our classes for 18 months now, so I guess it's only fair. I just hope our tenure in nursery with him is much less than his with us has been.

Here's Tommy before we left for church, all dressed in his finery, smiling happily...SO unaware of the horror that was ahead!

You may think that Tommy's firsts for the day were over, but nope! When I was getting him ready for church, fixing his fuzzy bedhead, I realized that I could actually put his hair in a full ponytail. Not a half one...a FULL ponytail. As much as I love his ringlets (what a pretty pony tail it was!), it was time for a haircut. Farewell you darling, sweet, wispy baby mullet! So between choir practice this afternoon and a youth fireside in the evening, Adam and I set a stool up in the family room, got out the sharp scissors, the spray bottle, the comb, and the camera, and got to work.

He was a fabulous customer. We put on an episode of Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That to draw his attention during the snips (Tommy isn't usually allowed to watch TV, but we thought that since Luke loves it so much, maybe it would be a winner for Tom too, and it was). He didn't even need bribing with smarties (our go-to haircut stillness reward). Tommy was curious, but very still and patient and didn't even mind the spray bottle.

Before: his ringlets were extra curly from all the sweating he did freaking out during his traumatic nursery adventure. {love}

"Mom? What are you doing?"

"Really. Mom? Mom! What are you up to back there?!"

"Whatever it is, it's fun!"

One cool dude.

After. My big boy, all trimmed up and looking dapper. {sobbing}

It was a big day for our littlest boy indeed!

The Blue Blue Marlin Take Two

What is that odd costume Ben is wearing, you ask? A blue marlin, of course! Thursday night Ben's 2nd Grade class had their annual choir performance of the runaway hit, "Sounds A Little Fishy." As the title suggests, the program is all about the various creatures that live in the ocean. Ben was thrilled when he was chosen to play the blue Blue Marlin, just like Zac was when his class performed this same musical program two years ago. It's the one song in the program that is sung only by one person, without backup support of the rest of the 2nd graders, and Ben did a fantastic job! The song is about how the blue marlin is sad because he doesn't want to be caught, only to be a trophy on the wall, but he just can't resist the tempting lures on the hook! Ben said he was a little nervous, but it didn't show at all. Unlike with Zac, I didn't have to make a costume (phew!), because the PTO decided last year to invest in some costumes that could be used year after year. Bravo, Ben! It was a night to remember!**Once again, Blogger sent me an error message when I tried to upload video, so you will just have to trust me that he was fabulous!

Tuesday After 3

Tuesdays are kind of insane for us. During soccer season most days are pretty crazy (all but for blessed Sundays!), but Tuesdays are really the busiest. But we are doing things we love and for the most part we get it all done. But this Tuesday met with a good deal of bumps along the usual road of schedule assiduity.

3:20pm-- My final preschooler is picked up after class, I go to clean up voluminous amounts of paint following an art project wherein we used root vegetables as stamps.
3:35-- Ben and Josh arrive home. Zach remains at school for art club.
3:40--Tommy wakes up from his nap. I read an email from the president of our Young Womens' group taking me up on my offer from that morning to make treats for the "heart attack" we are planning for our activity later in the night as a way to say thank you, we love you and we appreciate you to the out-going leader. OK, it's a little more to do, but I am good. I've prepared just in case. I am making Oreo-marshmallow no-bake bars (which I happen to know that this particular out-going leader loves).
3:45--I get the kids going on homework. This takes dilligence on my part because they have a tendency to forget that they are supposed to be doing their homework. While telling them every five minutes to get back to their work, I finish cleaning up the aftermath of preschool, start prepping dinner (tofu and veggie stirfry), and decide I need to make a double batch of the no-bake bars so the girls can have some too if they want them, but I also decide to wait to have Adam bring home the Oreos I will need on his way from soccer. They only take about 10 minutes to make after all. That will give us no wiggle time between coming home from soccer and leaving for Pack Meeting, but oh well.
4:35-- Zac arrives home from his last day of art club. Ben is instructed to start getting ready for soccer, Zac is told to do his homework.
4:40-- Adam arrives home to take Ben to soccer practice. They leave after many loud and frantic exclamations of "where are my shin gaurds?!" "hurry up, Ben!" "where is my other cleat?!" "if you put your stuff away like you are asked to, Ben, we wouldn't have this problem every time it's time to leave for soccer!" "Zac! Do you have my shin guards?!" "Ben, let's GO!" and all that such stuff. Zac decides to go with them and with Ben hurriedly trying to gather his misplaced things, he has plenty of time to gather his own. Tommy screams as Ben, Zac and Adam dash out the door because he wants Dad. Not Mom.
4:45-- Peace descends on the house for 45 minutes. While Luke chats ceaselessly, I am able to get dinner prep finished, dishes put in the dishwasher and things tidied around the house. I realize I never asked Adam to grab the Oreos so I send him a text. He says, "On it boss!"
5:30-- I leave with the littles to pick up Zac from Ben's soccer practice to take him to HIS soccer practice in Banning Lewis Ranch, 15 minutes south.
5:50--I drop Zac off at soccer and head home. I realize we aren't eating dinner for at least 2 1/2 more hours because it's just not going to fit in.
6:15--I arrive home and start making the treats. Adam walks in with Ben just as the marshmallows are melted, we food process them in a snap, mix them with the melted marshmallows, press them into a pan and voila! The treats are done. Ben changes like Superman for his Pack Meeting.
6:28-- We start to pull out of the driveway. We are going to be a touch late for Pack Meeting, but I am amazed that everything has actually gotten done, even if I've felt a little harried and wish I could sit down for a few minutes. We take two cars because Adam needs to leave at 6:45 to pick Zac up from soccer. Adam has brought the treats to his car, but as I back out of the driveway and start down the street I notice that Adam's car, which is exiting the garage, has the Pyrex 13-by-9-inch pan of Oreo-marshmallow treats sitting on the roof rack. Adam brakes at the sidewalk to make sure no one is in the way and the pan slides off, shattering on the driveway. It almost feels like it was in slow-mo. Like if I had jumped out of the car fast enough and dove for it, I might have actually been able to catch it before it hit the ground. The carefully sustained patience I have had is shattered. Adam is in good spirits this evening, he doesn't know I've lost it. I roll down the window and he, chuckles a bit then cheerfully offers to fix it, but I am p.o.'ed. I say, "NO! There is no fixing this. You have no time. I have no time. I don't even know what to do." He offers some suggestions, but I am so grumpy I don't accept any of them and I drive away. My cell battery died, so I have no phone to call to let anyone know that I have no treats. And I can't call Adam as I cool down to say sorry and ask for him to help if he can figure out a way.
6:38-- We arrive late to Pack Meeting, but it hasn't started so it's OK. I feel badly for snapping at Adam. I need to apologize.
6:50--Adam comes to Pack Meeting to get the littles so I can go to Young Womens while he goes to pick up Zac.
7:00--I leave Pack Meeting for Young Women's. I explain to the president what has happened to the treats. We decide to get lame store-bought treats on our way to the heart attack.
7:15-- Adam returns with Zac and to pick up Ben. They head home, but not without me apologizing and giving a big hug to my dear husband. The Young Women are fantastic. The evening goes well. I'm feeling better, but so tired. I'm not just tired from the busyness of the afternoon, it's amazing the energy being angry takes out of me.
8:30-- I arrive home and apologize again to Adam, who I find finishing the last of the copious dinner dishes. Our tofu veggie stirfry is sitting prepped and uncooked on the counter, the rice cooker is full of cooked but uneaten rice. I put it all in ziplock bags, thinking how good tofu veggie fried rice sounds for Wednesday's dinner. Adam had made a gross but efficient dinner of corn dogs for the boys. He and I have spring rolls. We sit close on the couch for a few moments vegging out, watching a couple-of-weeks-old episode of Parenthood.
9:30-- The phone rings.

*****************************************************************

10:25-- I hang up the phone. All the frustration and pettiness I was feeling about the day is forgotten. All the pent up tension of the day is washed away. All the tiredness I feel for the busyness of my life is gone. I feel ashamed to think of all the stupid little things I let make me irritated that afternoon.

I had just spent the past hour in a long discussion with my best friend, Jen. She and her husband Dave had their final meeting of four total with the doctors at the University of Washington. After three different evaluations, the doctors at the UW have a diagnosis for Jen's sweet boy, Max. He is diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder. After she said, "Hi," the tears started to flow. Through them she managed to gasp out, "You probably can tell what they said." We cried for awhile over the phone together. Then Jen took a deep breath and in her characteristic strength she started to tell me all she had learned about her boy that afternoon while I had been in the middle of my petty pity party.

Next we talked about how the words don't change the fact of who Max is, that really, the diagnosis just opens up opportunities for him for all the perfect therapies that can help him. He couldn't have asked for better parents to walk through, fight through, bust through this diagnosis with him. He is so deeply loved. He is so mightily supported. With the therapies Jen has already pushed for, he is making huge progress. But all the positives that we can see as this new path of their life begins doesn't change the fact that my best friend's heart broke yesterday, and that I am sharing her pain, feeling a little helpless, but doing what I can to lighten the burden, even if it's just listening over the phone lines, from 1,450 miles away, too far away, and wishing I could be right beside her instead.

It's so easy to get swept up in the petty annoyances of the day, to stress over the small. Stress over the small, that is, until the things that really matter, the big moments and meaningful moments in life, cause self-pitying to unveil itself for the idiocy it is and allow compassion and love to take its place.

We love you so very much Max, Jen, Dave, Hannah and Jakob!

Toothless

Our adorable Josh became old, officially, Wednesday night following dinner, scriptures, and just before one episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars and two stories.

His first baby tooth is out, placed with care in the tooth fairy box and waiting for a visit from the Molarator himself.

I'd have to check the record books, but I think this is the earliest one of our kids has ever lost a tooth. I was a little startled a few weeks ago when he discovered that it was wiggling. To me tooth loss is one of those unavoidable exciting but sucky times when you are forced to face the fact of your children growing older. Which means that I am too. Just yesterday Josh and I looked at old scrapbooks, soaking in nostalgia, looking for a good story from his childhood that he could tell to his class at school for an assignment (it was a close tug-of-war between the story of peeing in cups all the time after he was potty trained and his fear of the noisy garbage truck that delivered us many sleepless nights/early mornings--thankfully the garbage truck story won). So if I wasn't feeling like time was zipping by already, the tooth loss confirms it. He's old. My baby is on the path to permanent teeth. That's serious business.

Although I am a little sad that this rite of passage has now arrived for Josh, I can't help but feel thrilled for him. He's so excited. And his enthusiasm is totally contagious! A whole gold coin dollar was his by morning. He came downstairs holding it out before him like a priceless gem. He gets his name on the tooth wall in class, an honor he was so hopeful to attain this year. And he loves the cool hole in his smile. All day long he's been saying, "_______ (fill in the blank with the name of anyone willing to listen), did you know I lost a tooth? SEE?!"

So even though I'm in a bit of shock and possibly have a dash of denial that we are already facing adult-tooth-hood for Josh, I am excited for him. He's so cute when he's blissful.

When Circus and Chaos Combine

Last Wednesday, the entire Shevitz Circus of five, Jen, Dave, Hannah, Max and Jakob, flew into Denver for a five-day stay with the Conlin Chaos. After our wonderful trip to California ended, I felt so blah. But I had some sunshine in my pocket. And that was the knowledge that just handful of days away from our return to the Springs, my soul sister and her wonderful family were coming to spend their spring break with us. The Shevitz have really become like family to us over six years we have known them, sometimes it's hard to believe it's only been six years since we met! I think there is only one thing Jen and I have discovered we really disagree on: the Coke vs. Pepsi conundrum.

We didn't have a lot planned. Because it wasn't our spring break here, we still had all the regular life to live, and with three little ones (Max-2, Tommy-17.5 months, Jakob 8 months) we had to work around a lot of nap schedules. But it was enough to just spend time together enjoying the moments, letting the kids play, eating great meals, and getting out when we could.

By Thursday afternoon, Max had discovered his favorite spot in the house: the stairway balcony. I think it's a great vantage point to witness the action but not be enveloped by it. We also took a walk around the brown space by our house and hit Spicy Pickle for lunch, but I forgot the camera. Drat.

A lot of time was spent on the trampoline.

Friday night the boys had a school sponsored skate party, so we hit the rink.

Luke and I watched from the peanut gallery, or should I say "pizza gallery?"

Hannah hadn't been on skates for a long while, so she felt a little unsteady. The boys did what they could to help her, but in the end, Jen decided to strap on some wheels and lend Hannah an adult arm to lean on.

Saturday we found ourselves with a few un-soccer-filled moments and visited Garden of the Gods. When I put Tommy in the backpack before our walk, I didn't realize until I was about to lift him onto my back that I had put him in backwards, but that worked too!

We didn't go very far into the park, because Ben's soccer game was calling, but the kids had a lot of fun playing on, and in, the rocks.

I am thankful for Jen's friendship every day!

Luke was having such a great time climbing. Thinking back to how he was last year at this time, we just can't believe the adventurous side this kid has! Thank you occupational therapy/pists! He never busted out into the danger zone, but he did get a good 10 feet up off the ground without a worry or panic.

Seeing his brothers climbing, Tommy SO wanted to join the fun. You're cute, but no. No way, Tommy.

And here's the Shevitz Circus all together! I love how Jakob is obviously used to hamming it up for the camera and Max is SO very two, "NO! No more pictures!"

Daddy, you're funny when you're trying to distract me from wanting to climb up the rocks.

These two, Hannah and Ben, have been buddies since Ben was 2.5. We decided they are either going to get married, or they are going to be the best friends that call each other and talk about their relationships, trying to get advice from someone on the other side. I am sure their spouses are going to love that!

5/8ths of the Circus-Chaos.

Garden of the Gods never fails to impress.

The Shevitz even braved the windiest soccer game I think I've ever been to. Dirt was being picked up and flung around and the ball was blown off the field a number of times. Once it even went down into the creek 100 yards away!

Sunday morning I french braided Hannah's hair. See? I wouldn't have been a totally useless girl mom! Although you notice I only photographed one of the two braids. There's a reason for that.

Rub-a-dub-dub! Three boys in the tub! Max, Luke and Tom.

Love that Jakey smile!

Dave and Ruby have a special bond. I think Dave misses Ruby more than he misses us when we don't see each other for a long time! The feeling is mutual. Ruby's been sniffing around the guest bedroom since they left, like "Where's my Dave?"

Almost time to head home. Don't let the smiles fool you, we were both pretty bummed.

Max is really going to miss the tramp. He LOVED it! He'd sign "more" whenever the bouncing would stop. I think I know what he's getting for his 2 1/2 year birthday...3 is just too far away!

What a gift it was to have the Shevitz family come for a visit! They are such amazing people, and we are lucky to have grown to know them and love them so well. I love that Dave and Adam and all our little people are buddies too. It makes the visits we have fun for everyone. But it's always the most fun for Jen and I. We're already planning and saving up for an adults-only trip to Hawaii to celebrate a big birthday in the next few years for Jen. I can't wait. Miss you already, our Shevitzes! July is only three months away, see you then!

I Guess I Should Post Pictures of Basketball Before Soccer Starts...Oh, Too Late.

The boys had their first soccer game this weekend, so I think it's time I finalize the basketball season by honoring it with a post.

I've never been a big basketball fan, but I sure love watching the boys play! Seeing them play has given me a love for the game that surprises me. I still rarely watch a game on TV, although it is Adam's favorite sport to watch, but I am always sad when I have to miss one of the boys games because of scheduling conflicts. It's such an entertaining sport, especially when someone you love is playing it.

It was a great season for Zac. I love the pure, easy pleasure he finds in basketball. We haven't had to get into the politics of the game yet, like we have with soccer, so it feels lighter and sweeter. Zac enjoys the game immensely. He improved in his position as point guard this season, had a great time with his teammates, increased his aggression level and scored more points. His team didn't lose a single game this season, and many of the games were blowouts. It was a joy to watch him play!

Clowning around at the beginning of a game.

Playing a sport he loves.

Driving down the lane. Zach was great at knowing when to shoot and when to pass.

Focus.

He is so quick on the court. We're hoping that this spring season the speed and agility that comes so easily for him in basketball, will transfer out to the soccer pitch.

This second winter session was Ben's first go at basketball, and I think we have a new fan of the sport! His quickness really benefited him and his team. He regularly came off a rebound with the ball and was down at his team's hoop scoring before the rest of the players had caught up to him. He improved his dribbling a lot over the season. And got tougher on defense. He definitely wants to play again next winter. It was such a fun season!

Go Ben!

Ben is wearing number 3, going for the shot.

You can barely see him in this picture, but the kid with the ball is elbowing him in the chest. It's funny, Ben is so tough out on the court or field, but when one of his brothers barely touches him at home and you'd think he was dying.

The Michael Jordan tongue of concentration!

With the breakaway!

Congratulations on a great season to both of my boys!

There And Back Again: A Conlins' Tale, Fin.

I had to make sure to write a post almost completely dedicated to my friend Katie and her family. They were our gracious hosts the entire time we were in California other than the one night in Palm Springs.

Katie and I have been good friends since high school, we hung out in the same tight little group of girlfriends during my junior and senior years of high school. She is one of the gals that made those years so wonderful for me. She has always been a person whom I admired. I don't have a lot of memories of those years that don't include her! And although we don't see each other or talk with each other a lot, we keep up on each others lives through blogs and Christmas cards. She's one of those kind of old friends, you know the ones who you may not see or talk to for a long time, but when you are back together again it's like no time has passed and nothing has changed. Most nights we'd come back to her house, exhausted from the day, ready for bed, but then we would lose ourselves in the conversation, chatting until late in the night. It was great to see her.

When Katie saw a post that I put up a short while back about not being able to stay at my Grandma's place and not having somewhere to stay for two of the nights we were in California, she sent me an email that basically said, "Come! Stay here! You can come and go as you please, early in the morning or late at night, spend as much or as little time as you need to here, and stay longer if you like, it's really no problem, we have space for your giant family!" What the email didn't include was, "I will cook your family amazing and delicious large breakfasts, let you do three loads of laundry and also use my dryer to tumble your shoes when they are soaked through after a pouring day at Disneyland, let you hang out lazily in the mornings when it rains so you don't have to figure out what to do with a bunch of kids in a part of the U.S. that doesn't really have a back-up plan for rain, and really, please stay longer because I know your sister's place is a good size for a couple, but maybe not a good fit for adding a family of seven." But all those things are true and came as part of her offer to let us stay at her home. She was our vacation hero.

She and Jim's (her husband) hospitality was amazing. Her two little boys are darling and intelligent. She is a kind and generous friend. I loved watching her as a mother, so much the same and yet so very much more grown up than the friend I was a girl with, and I am so happy we had some time to spend together to catch up more than blogs and Christmas cards and the occasional email allow us to. The trip wouldn't have been nearly as wonderful if it hadn't been for Katie and her family.

If you are reading this, thank you, Katie! It was above and beyond. Truly.

Tommy and Bobby: We remembered to take pictures the morning that we were leaving for home, and Tommy was tired and had no more tolerance for the paparazzi, so even though he refused to look at me at all, much less smile, I wanted to put up a photo of the two babes.

Katie, Bobby, Tommy and I. Bobby has the smile down, but Tommy is basically saying, "No means no, Mom! I'm done with pictures." And ew. I look like I've already been driving for 16 hours and ate one too many Casey's Cupcakes cupcakes, but I haven't even started the journey yet...although the one too many cupcakes part is true.

Unlike Tommy, the other boys, including Billy, Katie's 3-year-old, were more than willing to ham it up. They obviously know the drill!

The trip was amazing. I don't know how else to say it. It left us all blissfully exhausted, which made us liable to sleep the sleep of the dead in awkward positions such as this:
This:
And this:
But I wasn't ready for it to be over. I miss it, every part of it, from sister to friend to beach to green to smells to sights to pleasures to rides to feelings, from the moment our car pulled away from Katie's house. Nope, I was definitely not ready for it to end. And after all these posts, and the days in between them, I think I still have a case of the post-vacation blues. But I guess all that means is that it was a wonderful trip. Yes it was.